My name is not 'Google'

The BBQ Pit
81

I work for a UPS Store. I have variations on this conversation pretty regularly:
SCENE: It’s a Monday.

CUSTOMER: I need to ship this novelty dildo to my mom. Her birthday’s tomorrow.
ME: OK. UPS Next Day Air would get your dildo into your mother’s hands* by 10:30am tomorrow morning for $60.
CUSTOMER: Hmm, that’s kind of pricey. What other options are there?
ME: UPS Ground could guarantee delivery by the end of the day on Wednesday for $15.
CUSTOMER: Hmm. You think she’d mind if her dildo was one day late?
ME: I don’t know, but our lives are about the choices we make.
Another favorite:

CUSTOMER ON PHONE: What time do you close?
ME: 8 o’clock.
CUSTOMER: [longish pause] And what time is it now?

*or wherever.

82

Oh, SHIT. More useless crap to crap up my brain with! :mad: :stuck_out_tongue:

83

Have you recovered yet from all the vicious attacks?

84

I hate you so much right now.

I’m rapidly approaching 28 (two months now) and I’m feeling very old. I didn’t start feeling old until my sister turned 30 in January. Why did her turning 30 make ME feel old?

I’m also used to being the youngest person in whatever job I happen to have. Lately though, I’ve gone from working in cubicle farms with middle aged women, to working in retail and factories with recent high school grads.

Ugh.

At least I don’t have crows feet yet. And my hair has natural white highlights so the age-whites don’t show up yet.

85

The correct answer is always, “If you run you’ll just make it!”

Instead of answering to “What time is it?” by saying, “Time to buy a watch.” I did the following.
It’s Friday afternoon.
“What time is it?”
I look at my watch and add ten minutes.
Next “What time is it?” I look at my watch and add twenty minutes.
Next “What time is it?” I look at my watch and add …
Finally The Pest says, “Wow, almost time to go home!.”
“Er, no. It’s still two hours to quitting time.”

86

Well someone had to do it so I did. Nine hits.

One was a picture of the Dali Lama smiling with his arm in the air. :confused: or :eek: ( I can’ decide on which is more appropriate.)

Another is of a mannequin on the side of a road

and another is of Archie playing a guitar.

another is sketch drawing of a figure stretching the mouth of another figure in front of it and below is a caption of, “I can always make you smile.”

The other five are of gibberish.

87

It still surprises me in this day and age how many people don’t “Google it”

My BF who is new to the computer world, he touched his first mouse a year and a half ago, still asks me random stuff. I tell him to Google it and he is amazed over and over again what he can find on the net. He is like a little kid that found his first set encylopedias.

Cool recipes, neat news sites, DIY stuff, it is all out there. Now if I can just get him to remember to ad them to his favorites he could save a lot of time then having to Google the same things and over again.