Wow. I thought I grew up in a boring place (most boring town in the most boring state), but it was never so boring that you’d take a group of preschoolers to Target to “see the sights”.
You’ve seen the DeKalb corncob signs? When I was in school DeKalb’s population doubled when school was in session. I assume Target’s clientele is split between college kids, townies, and farmers. Boring.
Hey, it’s 2019, anything is possible.
First of all, I understood the Target sentence almost immediately. It’s a little like one of those tee shirts that say, “Some people say I have ADD, but they don’t under–look, a squirrel!” But the meaning was pretty obvious. Also, pre-schools often take kids on “how the world works” field trips like going to Target. And who knows? Maybe they were supposed to sing carols there or something.
Second, I went to NIU, too! One summer I worked at Woolco, which I’m sure is long gone. Maybe it got replaced by Target.
I got the Target thing after a while. It was the OP I cogitated on for a while with no luck.
Looks like I wasn’t the only one:
So I was relieved when dropzone came back and explained. It was nagging at me.
Okay, but why is a Wrangler unsuited for a car seat?
Everything is hard in a Jeep.
With Oldest and her twin sisters I managed to cram two car seats and Oldest into the back seat of a two door Dodge Colt, so I can imagine what S. was going through. Overloaded like that I still got 48 mpg highway. Less while bombing around the Loop playing dodge 'em with CTA buses.
The third sentence of the OP was the most muddled to me. As it stands, it is a sentence fragment.
“To the limited extent that I had given it any thought I had suspected that since Oldest had been engaged to a guy and there were questions regarding the paternity of the kid.”
To become a complete sentence, it needs some extra punctuation:
“To the limited extent that I had given it any thought I had suspected that**,** since Oldest had been engaged to a guy and there were questions regarding the paternity of the kid.”
(You could add a second comma:
“To the limited extent that I had given it any thought**,** I had suspected that**,** since Oldest had been engaged to a guy and there were questions regarding the paternity of the kid.”
but that one is optional, unlike the first example, without which the meaning of the statment is changed and the sentence is broken.)
Yeah, it’s obviously wrong. I’ve been trying to reduce my commas, but that was a comma too far.
Yeah, Baby! 
I tried charting this thread; it didn’t help. But I have enjoyed the time spent on it.
I tried understanding this thread. Neither wine or ice cream helped.
Conjunction Junction, what’s your function? They need to agree: either/or versus neither/nor.
Wine should help. Just wait for me to fall off the wagon again and you will see just how incoherent I can get.
I’m with you, nelliebly. I agree with the OP that people are trying to misunderstand. However, I think he enjoys it.
As someone that is definitely OFF the wagon, I suggest staying on it. 
No need to wait. Going through prior threads of yours I can find examples of threads that were apparently started when you were off the wagon.
You stalking me, bro?
I take the deepest offense (offence?) at this statement.
I’m no trainspotter but only because it is not a big thing in the US. I have been on a lot of trips to take pix of trains which is a bigger deal here.
I did take my girlfriend to a train museum because while no railfan, she did find trains fascinating.*
I’ve never owned an anorak and the only one I’ve worn was the one the Navy lent me when they insisted I go to Iceland.
Despite all that, I had direct knowledge that said museum-going girlfriend was, in fact, quite female and mumble other as well, plus a wife for a time.
*One time I took her along with my railfanning group and she started gathering artifacts like burst air hoses with the gladhand still attached, and stray tie plates. When she’d accumulated about twenty pounds one of the group quipped, “Starting your own railroad with cast-off bits?”
I am not really understanding anything at all, but it is entertaining and intriguing. I am a foreigner, so there must a an unsurmountable barrier there somewhere, but as you are trying to explain acronyms, could you elucidate those three please:
OP
ETA
nm
That would be very ice, thank you in advance.