The Doper Relationships Primer

I named it, but I can’t write it.

I need to understand the Doper relationships… I notice Montfort and Anniz are married now, and if I recall, they lived in separate countries previously. So the question about them would be: When did they meet? Did they meet through the dope? What happened on the dope that caused them to take it private? Mere flirting? A moment of meaningful bonding taken to email? Maybe they didn’t meet here, so where did they meet?

Not that any of this is anybody’s business, of course, but many of these relationships are talked about openly, and I’d love to understand them better.

So the questions are:

Which dopers are hooked up?
Where did they meet?
What was the moment of truth?

You get the picture…

I’ll contribute this about my relationship:
** Pump Action Gerbil ** and I had already been together for 4 years when we discovered the SD. ( And we barely qualify as a Doper couple anyway, since he has a grand total of 17 posts or something. ) However, we did meet online, it was just on a local BBS.

We live together, built a business together, and we have been engaged for 3 years, but we probably won’t marry for at least 2-3 more.

Okay… everyone else?


Sure, why not?

lurkernomore and I are couple. We met online, though not here on the boards. We met on the BBoard about 5 years ago and became good friends over that time. He finally talked me into joining the SDMB in Decemeber. About that same time, we started talking about the possibility of dating. He flew to Tampa in March for us to meet for the first time (and to see if the same attraction that was there on the phone and in e-mail was there in person) Things went well, and the dating became official. I was going through a time in my life where I was in desperate need of a change and, since we were both wary of a LDR as well as because I had family and friends here, I decided to move to NY. We don’t live together, but do spend quite a bit of time together. We’re still exploring where our relationship might go. Of course, that’s half the fun! :smiley:

So, that’s the lurkernomore and TruePisces story.



Also, another question to include: what are the respective sexes of the persons in the relationship. (I am constantly being surprised by who is a male or female. )

FTR: I am a woman and ** Pump Action Gerbil ** is a man.

Ravendriver and I are a couple. He lurks & reads, but rarely posts. We met 12 years ago in a parking lot. Long before discovering the SDMB we were regular readers of The Straight Dope, usually over coffee in this great little place overlooking the beach in Ventura.

I’m female, he’s male, we have four cats, no kids, and that about covers the essentials.

I am the biological father of all the moderators on this board.

Go home, Dad, you’re drunk.

RickQ and I met here at the SDMB and our relationship developed very quickly. We met in the “Thread for people who don’t get flirted with.” Kinda ironic, eh? We noticed each other, flirted a bit, and then when I saw a Valentine’s Day thread a week or so later, I posted that I was waiting for him to happen by. He didn’t, so after waiting a day or so, I emailed him for the first time, saying only “Your presence is requested in the Valentine’s Day thread.” He responded, we flirted a bit more, then we took it to email. Within a day or two, he noticed that I posted while he was online and emailed me, and as I had gotten ICQ only a few days before, I suggested we chat. We did, and during that first chat agreed that I would call him the next morning (my time) just to have a voice to put with the emails, etc. After that, we started ICQing each other every night and calling on the phone every few days. At first, I was a bit hesitant because of our age difference, but we were both really, really attracted to each other immediately. We sent each other online pictures immediately, and pictures by mail with Valentine’s Day cards soon followed. Because we saved the emails and ICQ, it is possible to check the timing on all of this. Blush When I say this relationship happened quickly, I mean quickly: It was less than two weeks from the first email to when I bought my tickets to go to England to meet him. Although it was about 2 months between meeting online and meeting in person, the desire to meet and decision to meet happened very quickly. For us, the “moment of truth” was early on, when we admitted how much we liked each other and wanted to meet.

To me, one of the interesting bits about this is that neither of us are impetuous people, I think, and yet this relationship looks, from the outside, to be rather impetuous. Many people I know are a bit shocked about how we met and how quickly things have developed–not only did we decide to meet quickly after meeting online, but after spending 10 days together in April, we decided that Rick would move here to MI and move in with me. Now after his trip here earlier this month, I am even more sure that he is the love of my life. Our age difference (I am 16 years older than he is) is also pretty shocking. None of these details fit with what one would expect from a psychologist (me) or a responsible, steady person like Rick. On the other hand, we are wonderful together. We talk things out, we respect each other, and we love one another deeply. I would not have thought a long distance, begun-on-the-internet, relationship with such a big age difference could possibly be this good, but it is.

Gunslinger and I are a couple. We met here on the boards about a year ago. I noticed him from a post in the original VVC thread; posted something to him in the SDMB Warm Fuzzies Game; fought with Zoggie over him back in VVC again, and won. We were one of the last of the spate of virtual weddings, at which point we started talking in earnest on IM. I finally got to visit him on Labor Day weekend; we have another visit planned in three weeks. Oh, and we’re engaged, but we’re not going to do anything about it until we’re out of college.

 Only because it is less conventional for the woman to be older. I'm 15 years older than TP. We "met" online about 5 years before we met in person earlier this year. She felt she needed a change and moved up here (although we do not live together, at least not yet). I'm not saying love-of-my-life right now, but we're enjoying each other's company.

** brynda **, you aren’t alone. I’m 15 years older than ** Pump Action Gerbil **, 16 years for a few months in the summer, which is when we met. He was 21, I was 37, and we met playing a dumbass text-based RPG. Which was aberrant behavior on my part, (not his, unfortunately!)

It was supposed to be one of those “older-woman-shows-young-man” deals, and it started out like that. But about a year into it we realized that it was w whole lot more.

His age is one of the many reasons I don’t want to rush into marriage. I think he oughta be at least 30. I’ll be 45. Sometimes I feel really sad about that. But it is what it is…



I got into this kind of thing a couple of times when I first came online before deciding it wasn’t really for me. The only thing that sticks in my mind was that women were forever asking if I was in a wheelchair. In the end I got a squeaky toy and a clump of metal for when they called.

“NO !, why do you ask ?” * ::squeak, clump, squeak::*



I feel seriously whooshed.

I keep wanting to have a Doper relationship, but then I remember I’m happily married.

I’m glad for this thread, though, as I can’t keep any couples straight in my addled brain.

Cecil Adams is my illegitimate love child.

I forgot my wife’s handle, she’s only posted a couple of times, and I introduced her to the board after meeting her so she doesn’t really count.

Feynn and I are a couple. We’ve been together for six years, long before we started posting here. We met at work. I got to the SDMB first, but he followed me a few weeks later. He prefers GD and the Pit, I prefer MPSIMS and IMHO.

My sister also has a username here, Aunt Slappy, but I think she’s only made one post so far.

He’ll have to fill you in on the romance. My nails are wet and it’s hard to type.

Does this mean you’re not going to swallow the waving leg and parrot web cam story ?

You’re right, except for the wheelchair question. No idea why but it cropped up twice in conversation.
You’re too sharp for my own good, Stoid.

Mine too.

I am having a torrid sexual affair with Mr. Cynical’s right hand.

Not me. But I there’s one or two I wouldn’t mind giving it a try with.