So my beloved Lola wants me to fill in all the romantic details?
How about a fairy tale?
Once upon a time there once was a young man named Feynn, he was a rather ordinary man and responsible to no-one but himself. He liked it this way.
It was purely by chance that he came upon the fair Lola and he was immediately struck by her beauty. With her skin the colour of mocha, raven locks, and enticing curves she was the stuff men’s naughty dreams are made of. Now, Feynn had seen his share of beautiful women and found many of them wanting for lack of intellect. Imagine his surprise when he discovered that Lola was as smart as she was beautiful. In short, she blew his mind.
Imagine if you will, Feynn’s despair when he realized that the fair Lola was possessed by a monster (because every fairy tale needs a monster). The monster held her against her will and made her very sad. This hurt Feynn deeply.
Despite this, it was not long before Feynn developed a deep affection for Lola and she for him. He found himself looking forward to when they would meet and dreaded the time when she would have to absent herself from his company. This was when he knew that he loved her, when the thought of her leaving was like an arrow through his heart. They became the best of friends, sharing in each other’s secrets and hoping against all odds that they could be together.
It was a cold winter’s night when Feynn stole her away, he brought her to his lair where they just held each other through the night. Since then there has hardly been a night when they have not nestled together. Some of that nestling has resulted in the birth of two beautiful daughters. With these and Lola’s sons they have become a family that needs a minivan to travel through the kingdom.
Many years later she still gives him naughty dreams and blows his mind on a nearly daily basis. She becomes more beautiful every day and every day Feynn loves her just a little more.
The sons are growing into fine men and the daughters are becoming little ladies. One day Feynn and Lola can look forward to bouncing grandchildren on their laps and remember a cold winter’s night, many years ago when all their dreams came true.
Yeah, same here. But I figure if the love of my life is abducted by aliens or something, I’ll start shopping for a replacement here. Not that I’m wishing for an alien abduction, mind you… just like to be prepared for all contingencies.
My Fierra and I met in IRC, and when I went over to London on business we had a friendly dinner and night out. She tells me she felt a serious spark then, I was attracted to her intellectually and physically, but held no hope of a spark. Later on, when both our relationships were doomed and after we both broke up with our SO’s, we drifted together, mainly in IRC and ICQ. Then I went over to see her again, and we had an incredible time. And I’ve been over many times since then, and she has been here to see me. We’re doing fantastic.
Glad to hear I am not the only one around here. When we first started emailing, I said something like “I assume you are young” to Rick. He replied, “No, I am 24.” Yikes. I was 40 at the time, so I didn’t exactly agree with him. The more we got to know each other over the phone and online, the less his age mattered, but it was a big hurdle for me the first few days (I wouldn’t flirt except in SDMB posts) and then it bothered me at least a bit until me met in real life. At this point, I can make small jokes about it and I have told everyone who knows about us, so it is clearly far less of an issue. I still worry about what his parents think, but I guess I will find out when I meet them in November.
And Cranky, if you can’t remember that Rick and I are a couple, I must not have nattered on about him as much as I thought at the AA art fair.
Dammit Feynn (and BTW for some reason your another couple that I don’t forget) your description of lolagranola just blew something for me! In my mind, she looks exactly like Lola Granola. In fact, I picture her outlined in pen. Droopy eyelids, long stringy hair, braless, wearing natural clothing, oozing sensuality.
I have had the pleasure of meeting Feynn and lolagranola. lolagranola is indeed beautiful, and the two of them are very in love, it shows.
I, however, doubt very highly that New Boyfriend will ever be a Doper. Although I’m desparately in love with Mr. Cynical’s right hand, that bitch Manservant Hecubus has beaten me to it.
Ditto. There are so many special ladies here, some of whom pretend they like me, that I can see no reason to shop elsewhere.
However, may I please have the indulgence of Nymysys and DPR and Anniz and Montfort, friends I find absolutely charming and for whom I’m extremely happy, and please realize that the fault here is with me, not with you, because “impetuous” is not a word often used in connection with me—I ponder a decision for years and STILL suffer buyer’s remorse the moment I get the receipt. But I find myself questioning the sanity of anybody who gets engaged, much less married, based on one or two face-to-face “interviews.” Hell, I’ve worked places that wouldn’t HIRE you based on that little in-person interaction and here you go, not simply getting married but EMIGRATING TO ANOTHER COUNTRY. PLEASE don’t take this personally, but ARE YOU NUTS? Living together, sure, but as major a legal commitment as marriage? The very thought makes me hyperventilate.
<shrug> I can’t speak for Mr. and Mrs. Montfort (although I’d like to wish them congratulations again), but dpr and I feel in no way we’re rushing into this. We’ve been working on it for around 10 months now, have spent a little better than two of those months together, the rest on the phone or chat, and still are not married or living together. As far as the “legal commitment” vs. living together, it gets a bit rough trying to stay in a foreign country indefinitely. That marriage visa starts looking mighty fine.
So, are we nuts? Pretty sure not. Are we two people seeing if we can possibly make it work with the added pressure of living on opposite sides of the world? You bet. Would we give anything to live near to each other so we can be “not nuts” like you normals? Yeah. Sorry it looks so funny from the outside to you people, but we can only do what we can do.
Well, another, braver, part of me is reminded of how it was fairly common a century or two ago for people to marry after a long correspondence. Or penpals falling in love. IRC and email just speed the corresponding so you can get more of it done. And I remember my one moment of impetuousness, when I said “This is the woman I want to marry” after one date.
No offence taken Drop, but your argument could be applied to any form of love. We all see love and commitment differently and we all react differently to it. When’s the right time to rush in (where angels fear to tread or otherwise)?
And I guess there’s part of the problem. You see it as rushing in. Not so me. Nym and I ‘met’ a long time before we physically touched. We spent a considerable amount of time getting to know each other. We shared ideologies, experiences, dreams and hopes in a manner so blunt and frank it would frighten most people. We probably knew more about each other before we met than some couples would having lived together for 12 months or more.
We had a relationship built on honesty. And friendship, Make no mistake about it we were friends first. Then one day we realised that it wasn’t. I still remember the very moment ** I ** realised. But no digressions atm.
We’d fallen in love long before we actually laid eyes upon each other IRL. And you know what? What’s wrong with that? If anything I think there’s a strong case to be made that this method allows a better understanding of the other person. It wasn’t based on the sole meeting. The meeting was the culmination and the start of the next stage. Eh… I’m rambling atm - I’ll try and re-engineer these thoughts after some sleep (it’s 4am here).
I would like to share however the first thing that came to my mind when I read the post though. I thought “but it’s right - it felt so right. No buyer’s remorse here. My instincts were screaming at me, but not in a frantic way. No, instead they were singing because they’d finally found where they belonged. She’s The Girl.”
Am I nuts? Maybe. It’s a common accusation leveled at people at love. And make no mistake about it I am. Truly, madly, deeply. Is it wonderful? Oh yes. Is the reality of distance causing a few problems? Also, yes. Do I believe the problems will be overcome? Damn straight. Honesty and love will overcome the adversity.
How do I know this? I don’t KNOW it: I FEEL it. And I guess the real answer to your question is in those words.
OK, I 'll chip in again, mostly on ** Dropzone’s side. I wish ** Montfort and ** Anniz ** and ** dpr ** and ** Nym ** and ** Anthracite** and ** Fierra ** and ** Brynda** and ** Rick ** et al all the best. Some of your parents or grandparents had 2 week courtships that led to 50 year marriages, may all of your do that.
That said, the speed of some of these....
I knew ** Truepisces ** about 5 years. She had been in a long term relationship that broke up. [sub] he didn't deserve her [/sub]. An offhand remark by ** Home of The Braves **, a mutual friend, said I should come down and date her. I mentioned it, figuring **NO WAY** she wanted to date me. She asked when my flight was. :eek: We talked a few months over the phone. I visited a week. She wanted to move out of FL, and she had family in upstate NY and old school friends in NYC. She decided to move here. A few people assumed she was moving in with me. I never understood why. I thought it was too soon. I think she does too. I can see the advantage of marriage for visas, but moving so fast...
I guess maybe Dropzone and I are just old farts.
Best of luck to the couples up above, I admire your courage, I don’t think I could do that.
