This is a direct first sentance quote from an email from my own loving, conservative, sweet, soft spoken mother.
pout 
What did you send her that was so sick?
I just told her I like to get it on with the family dog on lazy rainy evenings…
…NO!!!
Can I get in on this? Mom just emailed me asked if I was HIV positive because- get this- she didn’t realize that the email lists I work for had a list for positive teens, which I’m in charge of. Apparently volunteering=HIV positive.
Gee, thanks, mom.
…I’m playing it up of course.
…but…
I get called a sick bastard here A LOT…
…I get called a sick bastard at work, QUITE OFTEN…
…my MOTHER called me sick! L
I just cant HELP it… my mind just WORKS that way!
…and yet EVERYBODY just comes back for more… how am I supposed to learn better THAT way???
Did you tell her that you have worms?
Just don’t tell her you have Prince Albert in a can or Olive Oil in a bottle.
When you next go home for a visit, do that stiff-legged “I’ve got worms” butt-skooch across the carpet. Mom will either call the cops or send you to a Caribbean resort hospital.
for a second, reading the title, I thought this would turn into a greek tragedy
Oh, I can add one here.
My Mom was talking to my wife about her ex, and discussing my wife and her ex’s lack of success in the baby department (7 years, One kid) versus our wild success (2 years, 2 kids). My sweet, conservative Mom’s educated opinion?
“So he must have been shooting blanks, right?”
I nearly died. My wife, to her credit, didn’t blink and agreed.
Don’t feel too bad. My mother slammed a door on my foot this morning and then refused to give me a band-aid.
Mothers worry. Be happy she cares enough to be concerned. Even if it does get on your nerves from time to time. I know my mom gets on mine.
Marc
The Libation Bearers, right?