When you two eventually meet face to face, bring pie. 
Congratulations! We all await updates to this wonderful story.
You will keep us informed, won’t you?
You’ve got me crying here. I’m an adoptee still “searching” for my biological father and I’m also born in 1966. My maternal family I found in 1991 and the reunion was better than any on Oprah. The only info I have on my “father” is his name is Peter Putter, immigrated from Holland (but recently determined he’s probably not Dutch, but could be Polish), had 7 known children and worked at the Maywood Inn as a chef in the mid 1960s. I found a sibling by the same name in the Bronx in 1994 (I didn’t reveal who I was…only a “friend”) and he told me his father was a chef on an oil rig off the coast of Florida. I’d love to know more.
What search did you use Melunz67? A heartfelt thank you for sharing your story A.R. Cane and a hearty welcome to your daughter. ::sniff::
I’ll share a bit of our story, because I can feel your frustration. Perhaps it will help you
in putting things into perspective.
My daughter has asked if I ever made any attempt to find her. I find this a difficult
question to deal with, among others that she is posing to me. I have certainly thought
about her mother and that I had fathered a child w/ her, but, except for the fact that
she had been born and was a girl, I really knew nothing about her. I had a
recollection that her mother was reuniting w/ her husband (whom I knew). I believed
that, given the circumstances of the time, this was what the mother wanted and was
probably best for all involved. I think that this event (breaking up w/ her mother), was
probably one of my first lessons in pragmatism. While I do have some very vivid
recollections of isolated events that transpired 40 years ago, I do not remember most
details, in fact I cannot often place those vivid memories in context with an overall
timeline. It’s often frustrating to me now, trying to recall these things and satisfy my
daughters curiosity.
I guess I’m rambling a bit. To sum up, 40 years ago, a young woman and I gave in to
our passions, and while it was very exciting and romantic at the time, we, in our self
indulgence, cause a lot of emotional pain for quite a few people. Some of that pain
went on for years, and even w/ this reunion, there is the risk of reopening those old
wounds for some. Should that deter you from continuing your search? I would
answer w/ a resounding NO, and I’m sure that my daughter would agree. To answer
the specific question of whether I ever tried to find my daughter, I have to say that I
did not. In the last few years, as I became more computer savvy (a relative term) I
have made a few attempts to locate her mother. These were more in the vein of idle
curiosity, than concentrated attempts. If I had been successful, which I was not, I
don’t know if I would have tried to make contact. The big question there is, do
I want to, or have the right to, interfere w/ someone’s life after a 40 year absence?
Before my daughter contacted me I would have had a hard time answering that
question, but since she has, I see it in a totally different light. Our reunion has turned
out to be fantastically satisfying for me, and I believe for her as well. I would strongly
encourage anyone, in a similar circumstance, to go for it. I can’t guarantee your
results will be a wonderful as ours have been, but I do believe that the risk is worth
the reward.
As to your specific question of how she was finally successful, she knew I was in the
Navy, Seabees and a few weeks ago she typed into Google “former seabee” along
w/ my name (use your imagination). This took her to a rather obscure, military related, web site where she
found a post made by me, which included my email address. She took a shot and
sent me a msg. She was smart enough to include the web sites name in the subject
line (otherwise I would have probably deleted the msg., it was that close). I rec’d. the
msg., much to my delight, and the rest is history in the making.
The “secret” is perseverence, if my daughter hadn’t had it, this never would have happened. She had been looking for over 20 years w/ many disappointments, but she didn’t give up. I can’t tell you how thankful I am that she didn’t.
What has got me feeling reservations is that she said "She wanted to meet her real father. That’s a red flag to me. (Because she’s looking for a real father, it implies that she didn’t have a good father figure and has pinned her hopes on you. It’s the way she phrased that, real as opposed to biological. Maybe I’m reading too much into the phrase though.) It seems to me from that statement that possibly she’s very needy, and delicate emotionally. I think that it’s probable that she’s got high expectations as to what kind of a super hero her “real” daddy is, and that it’s going to be a big crash and burn when you turn out to be human. (Or it could be.) I might seek a counselor to help me get myself in order, and help me as I go through this. They could advise you on what to expect, and how best to deal with the things that might come up. You’re going to need advice on how best to proceed, if she’s as needy as it seems she is. Maybe it’s just me latching onto that phrase though. At the least, be very careful and upfront from the beginning. Don’t let her put you on a pedastal, and if she has already gently step down without hurting her feelings if possible.
Sounds like you only read my OP before posting. I think you’d see how far off base you were if you had read further.
Beside that, how do you know I’m not a super hero?
You said you were a SeaBee not a Seal. 
Jim (Ex-Electrician Mate)
I always thought you guys just played basketball?
http://www.military-honors.com/images/14340.jpg
You’re not wearing tights?
Over ten years ago my father got a call from a young woman in Toronto who introduced herself as his daughter. Years before my parents met my father and this woman’s mother had a brief and passionate relationship.
Although there has always been some question to whether or not my father is actually her biological father (there was some doubt) he never questioned it. This woman was looking for nothing except a history and a link to a past. She was over 18 and had been raised by another man.
She has been accepted as my half-sister.
You think too much! :dubious:
Yeah, that happens around here at times. There are a lot of intelligent people here and sometimes things get overthought. But it is still usually worth it. After all, I post on occasion.
My husband’s daughter fell pregnant at 17 and gave the baby up for adoption. When she (the baby) turned 21, she enlisted in the Navy and decided it was time to meet her biological parents.
She found everybody, grandpa (hubby) included, and it’s turned out well, at least on hubby’s side of the family. (Bio dad’s wife is suspicious.) She’s a sweet kid and fits right in.
She says the main reason she decided to search was because she wanted her bio parents to know that she had a good childhood with parents who loved her and treated her well. She didn’t want anyone to worry about what kind of life she had. Her adoptive parents did a hell of a job, if you ask me. 
Congratulations, A. R. Cane.
I gave up my daughter and for twenty years wondered if I did the right thing and was she happy. I registered at many web sites as soon as she was 18 and appently she was also, just at different sites than me. A woman was compiling a database of searchers in our state while searching for her daughter and noticed ours matched. On April Fool’s Day of 2000 I got the e-mail “I may be your daughter”. We are very close and she has become part of our family… and I’m a grandmother now too. I’ve met her parents and they are wonderful people who raised a beautiful daughter. I never had any more children and it’s a wonderful thing to have a daughter and two granddaughters.