Hey everyone. I just took the Past Life test at www.emode.com and I thought I would share the result:
“You will be pleased to know that in your former life you were a tiny monkey named Oompa. Your adorably sweet demeanor coupled with your sharp intellect gave you a direct ticket to work with a street performer named Juan. Juan worshipped you and treated you like his own child. He bought you a gold satin jumpsuit with royal blue ruffles, a matching top hat for your head, and an identical one to carry. He would play your favorite disco tunes on his boom-box and you would dance around, flirt with the crowd, while collecting spare change and picking pockets. Everybody loved you. And you loved everybody. You and Juan took your gig around the country, and were extremely successful in almost every city you toured. You were one happy little monkey.”
“Not much is certain in life, but we know this much is true. In your last life you were a leopard named Lola. You were a showgirl. With yellow feathers in your hair, and a dress cut down to there. You would meringue. And do the Cha-Cha. And one night at the Copacabana, (the hottest spot north of Havana), you fell in love with Tony, the bartender. Tony fought with Rico over you (he wore a diamond), but Tony won. The two of you grew old and happy and joyfully danced your lives away at the club.”
How in the world did that happen?
“I thought: opera, how hard can it be? Songs. Pretty girls dancing. Nice scenery. Lots of people handing over cash. Got to be better than the cut-throat world of yoghurt, I thought.” - Seldom Bucket
You will be pleased to know that in your former life you were a Beagle named Scooter from Allamakee, Iowa. You were the cutest puppy on the entire farm. In fact, you were so adored that you were chosen to be the mascot for the Allamakee High’s Junior Varsity Basketball Team. You absolutely loved the attention, the cheers, the cool purple and yellow jersey, and most of all - the pizza parties after the game. However, you became disenchanted with your fate when your sister gave birth to Niko, the newest recruit for the JV team’s mascot position. As Niko became increasingly more coddled, the team began to neglect your needs. They would no longer chant your name while they held you over the basket to slam dunk the ball. They stopped making T-shirts with your face on top of the “Antonio’s Chinese Food” logo. And worst of all, they fired you when you bit the point guard’s mother on the thigh. However, after much moping and grieving, you decided that you must be happy for little Niko. So, with new found contentment, you were able to support Niko and the JV team – not from the court, but from your new spot in the bleachers.
Hmmm, don’t know what to make of this!
Your answers indicate that in a past life you were an Emperor Penguin of distinguished character and notable charm. Adored by men and women alike, you looked especially dashing in your top hat and tails. Quite the visionary, you brought popular theater to the ice-skating rink. “Ibsen on Ice” and “The Saturday Night Fever Ice Capades” were two of your better-known works. The shows were a big hit with your friends and neighbors. Your fame would have spread far if not for the fact that you looked exactly like every other penguin on the ice cap. In a brash attempt to assert your individuality, you threw away your penguin suit, purchased a racy, powder-blue number with frilly cuffs, and set sail for the mainland. You spent the rest of your days in Tierra del Fuego where your ice-skating rendition of “Hamlet” met with great praise and commercial success.
Thanks for the gabbas psycat. I’m glad to see that we’re getting some other animals. It was starting to look like the Jungle book what with all the chimps and leopards.
I was a hermit crab. Ask my husband, he’ll tell you that sounds about right
You will be pleased to know that in your former life you were ahermit crab named Marisol. Although you were quite a hit in your community, this is the limited information we’ve found. You were raised an only child in a small coastal community. You were quite a beautiful crab, but you had always been a little awkward around your peers. After failing your public speaking course three years in a row, and setting the record for the highest “Introvert” score in the history of the Myers Briggs Personality Inventory, the town doctors diagnosed you as having a social anxiety disorder. Due to your fear of open spaces and social situations, you decided to keep your business indoors, away from the public eye. During your time alone, you realized your unmatched sculpting talent, and dedicated all of your time and energy to your art. Today there is a gallery in your honor that is rated “#1 Gallery” by all top crab critics.
“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy
You will be pleased to know that in your former life you were a turtle name Gifford. Details about your life are a bit sketchy, but what follows is a brief summary, based on public records. You were born in a small pond near the side of a saloon. Despite an exceptionally athletic father, you seemed to prefer sunbathing and mudbaths to more active pursuits. Your favorite color was never green, contrary to rumor, but actually blue. Few people knew that you were a talented poet, but most of your work was destroyed during a flashflood that swept away not only your library, but your entire community. You had the pluck to survive, and lived a happy and charmed life with your wife Melinda and your twenty offspring.
