This doesn’t really belong in the “euphemisms for the penis” thread…
This morning, my boyfriend/fiancé Jeremy started referring to a “Simon.”
As in, “We’ll see if Simon’s up for it later.”
Or, “Simon’s going to have a lot of work to do later on.”
Or, “Oh, does Simon have a little irritation?”
Finally, I asked, “OK, who the fuck is Simon?”
He said, “Your penis.”
Me: “You’ve named it Simon?”
“I dunno. It’s just Simon.”
“I guess I can go with that.”
But I need to know… why Simon? I don’t think he’ll tell me. Any ideas? Is it a “Simon Says” thing? Or (::shudder::) could it have something to do with the American Idol judge?
Anyway, meet Simon. Simon wears crewnecks only. I think Simon might be getting a little haircut later on.