Scylla, where did you say you lived again?
I’m kidding of course. 
Scylla Didn’t I just read where you had a new digital camera?!?
And isn’t my e-mail address available just below my post?!?
You probably see where I’m going with this.
You send the pictures, and as soon as I’m done “studying” them, I’ll post them and link so everyone can see. 
I second the motion. Clearly it is up to us here at Straightdope to help poor Scylla out anyway we can
Enough of this talk about half naked nubile blonde babes. We need to help Scylla with his pH problem.
[pedantry]
I seem to remember that heavy use of a pool almost always brings the chlorine level down, no? And the organic matter could well be from other sources with that many people using it…skin cells, (blonde) hair, etc. A well-used pool needs more chlorine than one that is empty most of the time.
[/pedantry]
I’m with Mastema. That’s it. I can’t think of anything else.
Although it brings back to mind my t-shirt concept from Giraffe’s Challenge.
Yeah Scylla we want PROOF this is going on in your pool. How do we know if this isn’t some damn lie unless you email me some digital photos of the tanning session.
Preferably the part where they rub lotion on each other.
[Deep Voice]
Behold, men, the curse of marriage! One day you too will have every guy’s dream! A pool full of scantily clad babes! And, because you’re married, you’ll be worried about your chlorine! Doom! Dooooooooom!
[/Deep Voice]
Scylla, you poor bastard. Is there some charity out there for the overly-nubianed among us? Think of the huuuusbands! For god’s sake, won’t someone think of the HUSBANDS???!!!???
You know if they are swimmers, our Masters team could use some new women swimmers. We do not have enough, to, um, fill out a relay team, yeah that’s it.
Scylla has got it easy!
I just won the lottery, the Nobel Prize and bagged Brooke Burns.
Pity me!!
We’d believe you if you’d just set up a webcam.
That’s it. Now we’ve finally confirmed that Scylla is, indeed, Hugh Hefner.
With goats and stuff.
And blimps.
We must help Scylla. If we all take one of the nubiles from him, he will become nubile-free and once again happy. I volunteer to take one (just don’t tell my wife).
I see lots of people interested in these blonde “Nubians”, and that’s good. But I think you’re missing the point. After a while, you get to the point where you just don’t care that much anymore.
Scylla, I have the same dilemma with college freshman girls. My brother is a freshman, very popular and studly, so there are always all of these increbly hot 18-year-olds hanging around his house, where I am a lot. One could just sit there ogling them all day. But you know what? They’re way more trouble than they’re worth. Too much maintenance and overhead. I’d rather just hang out with my girlfriend (of eight years, so it’s similar to being married). I’m only 29. Is that wrong? Have I suddenly gotten old?
In all honesty, when I see a hot youngish (18-21) nubile girl I think “Hmm, I wonder if she can babysit so my wife and I can get out for an evening.”
But hey, I can dream, can’t I?
I could just be weird, but I find the fact that there are a bunch of girls in bikini’s hanging out at your place that don’t do anything for you gives you about a million sexy points in my book.
Not that it matters! I’m only a tall, thin blonde in my early 20’s who’s working towards a degree in marine bio–Err, wait. No. No, I’m not.
shakes head
Btw: I would become murderous if I were your wife. If there’s one thing I hate more than pretty girls in bikinis, it’s pretty girls in bikini’s at my house while I’m pregnant.
Go home and kiss your wife a few times for not screwing up the ph balance in the pool with oodles of young, nubile blood, eh?
So, how much trouble could you get into if you took pictures of your nubile relations and put them on a web page, then posted the URL on a public message board, visited daily by thousands of people?
Oh. That much trouble.
Dang.
Ya know, I’ll bet that somewhere in the deep dark depths of the gene pool you and I are at least distantly related.
What kind of beer should I bring?
After they’re through at the pool, do they all go upstairs and have pillow-fights in their shorty nightgowns?
—Eve (who’s just wondering, is all)