I still can’t figure out why the last time I checked my bank account balance my available balance was about $95 and my ledger balance was $178. I don’t keep an obsessive lookout over my checking account, but I noticed THAT. I gotta admit, I am at a loss as to how you could not notice nearly $6,000.
However, she should be tossed in jail for this. Consider this one fucking expensive lesson.
Wait a second here. Where is everyone getting the idea that the woman was being “exploited”?
The OP stated that he paid her for cleaning his house, and presumably she enjoyed their sexual encounters enough that she didn’t turn him down. Yeah he could have phrased it a little more delicately, but until there’s some more information I find it a little strange that people are assuming she was being taken advantage of. Maybe she just wanted to have sex.
In defense of the OP not noticing the missing money – it’s possible. I went through a stretch of three years when I didn’t have a job. First I got fired, then my mother broke her hip and needed full time nursing so I moved in with her to take care of her, then my father had a stroke, then another, then a heart attack… it was a very bad stretch for me. I knew I had money in the bank, quite a bit because I’m a saver and never got the hang of real investing, but I found looking at my balance going down, down, down month after month – well, it just added to my depression. So for 2+ years I just stuck the bank statements into a drawer without opening.
It’s not a sensible way of reacting, but people who are in a depression don’t always behave in sensible ways.
Maybe she couldn’t believe her good fortune at finding a sucker who couldn’t keep track of his own money.
She may be a criminal, but the villainess in this little story is certainly the sharper of the pair.
I’m not a compulsive balance-checker, either… maybe once a week. I’ll deposit my check, and keeps tabs in my head.
Not the smartest thing in the world, given that I’m living hand to mouth at the moment, but it happens. I’d like to think that I’d notice six grand though, mostly because my account would then be overdrawn by about $5500.
It sucks. That’s all that really needs to be said.
I know lots of other people have said it but HOW THE FUCK DO YOU NOT NOTICE 6K MISSING? If I bounce a check for $3 my bank will inform me within fucking 3 days!!! Where has your head been all this time?
Kayeby from the looks of the following (from the OP)
she continued to clean without being paid and the OP didn’t seem to have a problem with this. I agree with PunditLisa–this was a very stupid thing to do and a completely idiotic situation. Nobody cleans because they want to save somebody’s house from falling into dissaray.
pepperlandgirl, thanks for the clarification - I’d actually skimmed over that part of the OP and missed it. 
Although I’ve had two friends come over who have seen my room and instantly asked for my permission to clean it. 
Of course, one took the opportunity to steal a dress from me, so I guess that one had hidden strings (I couldn’t figure out where it had gone until she sold it on eBay a year later).
With a 6K difference and a stretch of unemployment, I’m wondering how the OP wasn’t bouncing checks left and right.
That story sucks, and I hope you get some of it back.
But I do have to ask: how in the name of fuck can you not notice nearly $6K go missing from your bank account? Especially when you’re having financial difficulties.
Very strange.
spooje, I know when I was unemployed I liquidated anything I reasonably could without taking a loss and put it into my short-term savings - I sold stock, exercised some stock options, and I had a good chunk in savings to begin with. Things were bad in my field and I was preparing for a long haul (1 year +) of unemployment. I also had a very good severance package from my employer, and I was also collecting unemployment. I could have easily “lost” 6K and not bounced any checks (I have overdraft protection that automatically transfers from my savings to my checking). Of course, I’m one of those that balances my checkbook every month, so I would have noticed any discrepency immediately anyway. But my point is that is very possible to be unemployed and still have a pretty decent buffer of cash. Fucking stupid to not notice money going missing, though.
I’m a little more temperate in my reaction, I think, perhaps because I am so absolutely foul at managing money.
Bruce didn’t lose $6000 in one lump sum…it happened gradually, over a period of nearly a year. If you take into account porcupine’s post, add in a bit of not-gonna-deal-with-it denial regarding money, and a manipulative so-called friend, I could see someone losing a couple of hundred a week without really catching on.
I try to keep track of my account pretty well; I use online banking, keep track of my reciepts, all that–and I still end up in the hole nearly every month. I think I’d eventually catch on to what was up, but obviously this was someone he trusted, or he wouldn’t have allowed her into his house.
And I’m not buying into the whole poor exploited woman crap either. Unless this woman has a mental impairment, she should be perfectly capable of deciding whether or not she wants to have sex with a man with whom she doesn’t have some sort of love relationship. Heavens, am I the only one here who ever enjoyed having an cheap-meaningless-upstairs-neighbor-type sex before?
She’s a thief, Bruce. Thank goodness you caught on now, before it got even worse.
Best,
karol
after a weekend in Charleston “hiding out”.
First, to answer some very valid questions. How could I not notice 6k missing? She started small, around $100 or $200 at a time. April was the first month she started getting bold, she took $500, $644, and $300. At the end of the month, I was around $1500 in the red in my checking account. (My checking account allows me to go negative) This was the first red flag and I was waiting for the statement for that month. I (stupidly) never read my statements because I use Yahoo! Bill Pay for all the bills I don’t use automatic withdrawal. The only time I ever use checks is to order a pizza or pay the kid to mow my lawn (that last check did bounce). Also, I had only received 1/2 a paycheck for April because the pay period is for the 15th - 15th. I figured it was probably a timing issue on paying bills and depositing checks.
The reason I went to the bank this time was that I was sure where I stood and knew I couldn’t be $1000 off.
On being out of work so long and not bouncing check. First, I had about 2 months worth of savings. Then at the end of Feb. I had my taxes done at an instant refund place. (I pay incredibly high interest on my house, which is tax deductable) I also cashed out my IRA, which was good for about a month. With all my savings, I was really only short about 1/2 month, which is how I explained the negative amount to myself.
I will agree with whoever said I need someone to do my accounting for me. I’ve been kicking myself all weekend for being so gullible.
Boy, TMI about my finacial life.
Update
I talked to her twice since I last posted. The first was on the way to Charleston. I actually called her and asked her what the hell she was thinking and how she could get away with it. She didn’t have an answer. I then told her if I had $6000 in my hand on Monday (tomorrow now) that it would all go away. No response. She then told me to check my mailbox on Saturday. Figuring it was a letter or a check, I asked a friend of mine to check the mail for me. He did and says he believes it’s a check and a letter. (Idiot, signing a confessional). He’s either coming over this afternoon or I’ll go over there. Unless it’s a check for 6k, I really don’t care. I’ve had enough of this useless bitch and couldn’t care less what her sob story is. I’ll report back what the letter said though, my fellow dopers.
And to those who doubt my story, I don’t blame you. It does sound implausable, I agree. But it’s true. I wish I had a scanner because I could put the printed checks on a web page somewhere. Perhaps she’ll make the local news and I can post a link.
Thanks for the support from the rest.
You may want to make sure that the check isn’t drawn on your account :D.
Haj
You’re far to kind. I would not hesitate prosecuting the theaving bitch. From my experience with other “less than honest” people, you’re not the only one she has (or will) steal/stolen from. Throw the useless fucker in the slammer for the good of society if not for yourself.
Really.
Well hell. It was a letter and a check. The check? Post dated for later this month. Amount? $1500. The letter? You can guess. I didn’t mean to hurt you. . . I don’t have an excuse. . . blah blah. She is also promising to pay the bulk of it later this summer (August/September) I’m going to talk to the loss/fraud division of the bank tomorrow to see what my options are.
The part that’s killing me is that she has a 4 year old son. All I really care about is getting my money back. If the bank says I will have legal recource after a few months, I may give her a chance to pay it back. If she does not? Off to prison.
What a shitty position to be in. . .
I hope it all gets sorted out for you, Bruce_Daddy.
There’s a handful of us Dopers here in Charleston; next time you drop by, let us know if you care to have a beer.
I suspect her promises to pay it back are worth exactly nothing. Post-dated checks are worth nothing. She’s an inherently dishonest person. Call the police. Maybe part of her sentence can be paying you back.
If she has a son and is doing this, he would be better off with someone else. I know this may not be a very popular viewpoint around here, but if the parent is a criminal and cannot/will not reform themselves, they should lose their child. There is a good chance that the child would learn what ma or pa is doing and just continue it.