I had an ex steal the last checkbook in the series, write a check to a friend (for $400) and wrote another for $500. The $400 check cleared and another branch (Keybank) of the bank became suspicious when her friend tried to cash the second one. The teller got a copy of her friend’s drivers license and let me see it. The teller covered up the social security number and all other info but let me see the photograph. I put stop payment orders on all the checks.
The long and short of it was, if I wanted the bank to cover me for the stolen $400 I had to let the bank prosecute the woman.
If you want to deal with this woman – keeping in mind that I’d have called the cops by now – I’d tell her you want money orders or cashier’s checks. Something that indicates she actually had the money and is giving it back. I would not trust a postdated check from a proven thief for one second.
I’d press charges too but I wouldn’t hold my breath to see her in prison. If this is her first official offense, it’s doubtful she’ll see any time. My guess, anyway.
Bruce, you’re being as compassionate as you can be here, and frankly, you don’t have to. Your kindness is serving no purpose except to allow her to get away with this for as long as possible.
File charges. Let the legal system intervene. I don’t know for sure, but my guess is that at worst (her worst, I mean), she will be required to pay the money back, whether she makes payments or has whatever wages she makes withheld, whatever.
Hope everything works out well, and quickly.
After talking with the bank’s loss and fraud office, I’ve decided to go the legal route. I went to the sheriff’s office this morning and filed a report. She’s so stupid. I didn’t know where she lived but since it’s on the check she wrote me I do now. They’re going to issue a warrant for her arrest soon. I hope she doesn’t run.
I asked the cop what she was looking at. He said 3 years per check. That’s 51 years! He also said she probably wouldn’t do any of it if she set up a payment plan (wage garnishing, etc.) through the court. That makes me feel better. All I want is my damn money back.
I had a boyfriend that I was living with rack up a couple hundred dollars in porn website charges on my debit card. I remember they told me that I would have to press charges if I wanted the bank to cover my losses. Considering I was financially dependent on his half of the rent and bills, that wasn’t an option for me (I moved out the next month).
Anyways, Bruce_Daddy, I seriously doubt she’ll do any actual time, especially if this is a first offense. I also think that you’re not going to see a dime of your money unless you press charges. If she’s dishonest and immoral enough to take that money from you to begin with, I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for her to pay it back unless she’s forced to (wage garnishing, ect.).
The ‘post dated check’ could mean she wants to pay you… or get a running start. Three weeks is a good amount of time to hide.
Q: have you checked that she even has close to that amount as a balance in her checking account? Call the bank & verify the funds (vendor verification is what some banks call it). While you’re at it, may as well say there are 2 checks; one for the amount she sent you & one for the balance she owes you less the first check. Who knows? Maybe she’s been stealing from others. Its still money that is better in your pocket than spend on bus tickets or apartments while hiding from the warrant.
PS- Bruce_Daddy, While you Are disorganised, you are clearly the victim here and I’m Not Blaming the Victim. What people do in relationships is one thing; the choice to commit a crime is quite another.
As for believability, a friend had the same Nice Job -> Severence Package -> Unemployed ride…and its easy to see $$$ changing role importance as it becomes tighter and tighter. Still, you might want to track it a tad closer going forward.
While I can appreciate the sentiment of people wishing jail on her, I think you’re right, Bruce, in hoping for a different resolution. If she’s in jail, there’s a 0% chance that you’ll get any money out of her, and it’s really the money that’s important to you. But, if you can get her into a wage garnishing-type situation, you at least get some money back.
You have completed step 1, pressing charges. Step 2 is taking an interest in your own finances. At least once a month, look at your statement and verify that the items listed are actual things you remember spending. Maybe get a book on personal finance and budgeting? As a guy with no income at the moment, you should be watching your dollars closely.
Well no shit I’m going to be watching my bank statement more closely!
I can see how amazed people (including the cop this morning) are at the fact I lost that much money. There are several factors which I have mentioned but I’ll go over it again.
I am very disorganized. I don’t write checks out in order. If I have to write a check, I just use the first book I can find. I never write down how much it is, who it’s too, etc.
I hate snail mail. Really really hate it. I would rather check for my daily gift of angry rattlesnakes in the mailbox than sort through that god awful shit. It’s a disorder, I know. Seriously, I check my snail mail once a month, just so the mail lady doesn’t bitch at me. Therefore, the bank statements have historically been very out dated, like 1.5 months old. Even if I had read them I probably wouldn’t have noticed the amounts missing until recently when she started getting greedy (remember, about a 1/3 of the money has been stolen in the past 6 weeks.)
I generally believe in the goodness of people. I had a very expensive leather jacket and a more expensive bass guitar stolen because I left them in my truck unlocked. I know this is mind-boggling to many of you, but it never crossed my mind that someone would open my truck door and take that stuff out. As a matter of fact, I still leave my truck unlocked every night with my wallet in it. Is this stupid? Yes. Will I stop? Probably not. It’s not that I want to get stolen from, it just doesn’t occur to me.
My checking account is almost a closed loop. The only money that goes in is a once a month paycheck. The money that goes out is
Automatic withdrawal
Yahoo! Bill Pay
ATM
Written check (extremely rare, maybe 1/month)
It didn’t occur to me (there’s that phrase again) that someone might be stealing my checks. The only people with access were friends. And yes, I would have considered her a friend since we were somewhat sexual. Imagine an opposite sex “friend” you have known for 4 years and have even hooked up a few times. It’s easy to look at an abstract situation and think “God, that’s stupid. How did he let her get access to those checks!” Well, it was over a year after she began cleaning that she wrote a check to herself and she had been coming over occasionally for much longer than that.
I’m going to stop defending myself. Yes, I should have caught it earlier but the point is I did catch it. And the end result will be the same, I’m getting my damn money back. Bitch.
p.s. It’s apparently not obvious that I’m not going to cash that check. The cops have it now as evidence. I’m not playing games with her for the next year trying to get my money back. I don’t want to have any interaction with her at all, actually.
I asked the cop what she was looking at. He said 3 years per check. That’s 51 years!
I believe this is what the cop told you but I’m having a hard time believing that she’d get 51 years in jail for a few stolen checks. You might wanna check with someone else about that, I think the cop was mistaken.
That’s the maximum theoretical sentence which almost never happens. Usually counts are dropped or sentences served concurrently if jail time happens at all.
yes. but as Haj pointed out, the number given was the max potentially for each count. It’s doubtful that’s how it’d be handled. They can charge each one and run sentences concurrently*, drop some charges, sentence for less on each, combination etc.
(* depending on the laws in that particular jurisdiction, plus the specific circumstances of the case).
You did the right thing. The post dated check and promise to pay scenario is classic playing for time MO from hustlers on the make and you have been played enough. Filing charges will focus her mind on getting the situation resolved. It is likely the threat of going to jail and losing her child will make one of her relatives somehow collect the cash.
Be wary of offers to pay over time. Collecting from hustlers is fraught with problems. Even if they intend (temporarily) to pay life usually gets in their way. Insist on full payment as the only option to satisfy the debt.
IANALoB (Lawyer or Banker) but I don’t think he has to worry about her giving the money back. The bank cashed fraudulent checks to his account–they’re the ones responsible for refunding his money. Isn’t that right?
Nope. The bank is only responsible for the checks she cashed/deposited in the past 30 days. It was in my User Agreement (or WETF they call it in banking-land)
That still adds up to over 1k though, which will soften the blow.