My roomate is a lazy clueless fucknut (longish)

The BBQ Pit
1

First of all I own the house. He rents a room. About 2 years ago he begged me to let him live with me. His dad is an alcoholic and his mom cares about exactly 1 person. He isn’t it. (yes I know them) I felt bad for the kid so I agree to let him live there for next to nothing. ($100/month) He says he’s going to try to go to college and get a job on the side. Yeah fucking right. He has not even contacted the local University 1 time. More on the job thing in a minute.

He was 20 when he moved in and completely fucking helpless. I had to show him how to use a can opener. I am not kidding. He not only didn’t know how but couldn’t figure it out. 20 years old I repeat. :confused: 2 years later he now cooks and does laundry for himself. In large part because of my help. Fantastic right?

Wrong. Yeah he has a job. 3 days a week in 6 hour shifts. What does he do the rest of the time? Sit on my couch with his trashy fat ass girlfriend and watch tv and or play video games. 18 hours a week with 2 days in between each shift. Man slow down you’re going to burn out at 22. Now this isn’t because this is all he can find. Apparently this is all he can handle. His boss told me (yes I know him too. Small town.) that he offered to put my roomate on full time with benefits. His answer was that he just didn’t have time. You lazy fucking piece of shit. There are hundreds of people in this town who would do almost anything for that offer but you would rather play Xbox. FUCK YOU but you pay your bills and it’s not my business so i say nothing except, “You are fucking up and if I were your boss there would not be a second offer… Ever”[/background]

So this weekend my girlfriend and I are going away. I agree to let him and the girlfriend play house as log as they watch my dog. We are leaving Friday and will be back EARLY sunday morning. A subtle but ignored hint to have the place in order Sunday morning.

I come back from a nice weekend at about 8:00 am. My dog is waiting to greet me outside and seems fine. Great so far so good. I open the door and I’m nearly knocked backward from the wall of heat that hits me in the face. Holy shit it’s hot. I hurry to the thermostat to check it but there are toys (from his girlfriends 4 year old) coke cans, pizza boxes and just general shit everywhere. The heat is set on eighty fucking two. WTF?? Ok calm down go drop your stuff in the bedroom.

I get to my bedroom and there is a smell. Stench even. Ok he didn’t let the dog out and she shit on the floor but where? It’s coming from the bathroom. I open that door and my gag reflex kicks in. What the bloody fuck IS that? The paint should be peeling off the wall from those fumes. OMG There is a pile of shit in my toilet that could only have come from a large bull moose. I come within an inch of hurling but with an entire can of Lysol I manage to flush and cover the smell. He never heard of flushing? Not to mention this is my bedroom and bathroom.

I go back out to the living room and the three of them are sitting exchanging Easter gifts. Fuck let it go for now. The little girl is excited about the easter bunny and it’s not her fault. I go into the office to check my e-mail etc but this is in a direct line from where they are sitting.

Little girl to roomate: What did you get for Easter?

Roomate: Looks directly at me. “Apparently I didn’t get a house.” Like I am intruding in his space.

My blood instantly starts to boil so I say, “No you actually have to work for one of those.”

You ignorant ungrateful fucking prick. You make a 3 toed sloth look ambitious and you think someone is just going to give you a house. FUCK YOU. No you didn’t get a house and you no longer have access to this one. GET. THE. FUCK. OUT. The wheels have come off your gravy train. YOu can’t afford a new place? Here’s an idea. Go to work!! or move in with your fucked up parents. I have no more sympathy. :mad: :mad:

2

I think that it is time for you to tell him to move out. He’s really getting to you, it definitely isn’t worth the money, and you’ll be doing him a favor in the long run.

3

I can appreciate that you wanted to help a guy out, but it looks like you set yourself up from the very beginning to get taken advantage of.

One thing I might have done differently is, when you got wind of his full-time-with-benefits offer, you might have sat down with him and calculated how much he could afford to pay in rent now, and summarily raised the rent on him. He doesn’t like it? Too bad; find another place.

Good luck with this guy.

4

Yeah I did brujo but not quite as rudely as I would have enjoyed. I gave him a month to find a place and even offered my girlfriend for help who is a real estate broker. I’m just venting.

5

Hurray for you! A fantastic rant, and a great decision. I like your backbone.

6

Oh man, I can totally sympathise with you. In the (almost) month since I haven’t been able to post, my annoying roomate thread has dissapeared. To make it short, my fiance’s obnoxious brother has been sleeping on my couch since January. I can’t believe you’ve put up with it this long. I’m ready to seriously hurt him and he’s almost family.

7

Good work man. I hate stories of people who take advantage of others. Especially when they (you) go out of your way to help. F - that.
Give him two weeks and start packing his shit if he isn`t making serious progress.

8

Thanks for the support everyone and a little update. I just got home from work and he is not here and some of his shit is packed. Of course most of “his” shit is actually mine. I loaned him a bed, dresser, tv and stand. Clothes are about the only thing he brought in. I think I scared him. Pity. :smiley:

9

Good on you for having enough backbone to kick him out.

The only thing that pisses me off more than people who take advantage of other people’s kindness are those who willingly get taken advantage of. If you don’t do anything to stop it, you can hardly blame the deadbeat for taking you for all you’re worth.

And don’t worry, that guy’s karma will take care of him.

:mad:

10

Good, I’m glad you are kicking him out. It looks like you were “substitute parenting”.

There’s that saying from Dear Abby or Ann Landers–something along the lines of “you can only be taken advantage of, if YOU allow it” and I am glad you are putting a stop to it.

11

Oh and please tell me you are not going to let him take that stuff (that is yours).

I can see if he had treated you and your house with respect, even if he was lazy. But he couldn’t even do that. :mad:

12

Good on ya, kicking his ass to the curb. The only thing I’ll suggest is that since you’re his landlord and he’s your tenant, there’s probably some minimally formal procedure you may have to go through to evict him. Of course if he goes quietly in response to your “get the fuck out” then great. But in my experience the laziest of roommates or tenants suddenly obtain the focus of a laser beam if they have rights that might be getting violated. Doing it correctly now may save you a big headache later.

13

No no and hell no. That could have been phrased better. I was just saying he really doesn’t have much here besides clothes and wall decorations. That is what is packed not my stuff.

To be fair it really wasn’t that bad for the first year and a half. He got this girlfriend about 6 months ago. The job offer happened about 4 or 5 months ago. Before that it was annoying to have him laying around but he rarely made a mess. The girlfriend seems to have changed him.

14

Thanks Otto. Hadn’t thought about that. My GF deals with lawyers all the time. I’ll see if she can get some advice from one of them.

15

Dude, the only thing is, you maybe could have waited until he got drunk one night and passed out. Then you could have put your fucking boot in his ear with impunity.