My single friend is driving me insane

All he does is whine about being lonely. He complains that I don’t understand what it’s like since I’m married. (<Sarcasm>Because you know when I was born I was automatically assigned a hot babe as a wife. I didn’t have to date or anything.</sarcasm>) So it’s a constant barrage lately of him babbling how he is going to die alone.

Well, of course he’s alone. He’s depressing as hell to be around. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s not like he does anything to avoid his self-proclaimed fate either. You know, like asking girls out.

He can be a great guy, but when he gets into these moods he’s a pain in the butt. I don’t suppose any of you ladies out there would like a special project? No? Well, then would it be unethical for me to sneak up behind him with a shot of prozac? Because until he lightens up, he is definitely staying single.

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I didn’t intend there to be a winking smiley there. Please attribute it to a lack of caffine in my system.

You’ve got to tell him to knock it off. Seriously. Attracting women is 70% confidence, 20% attitude, and 10% toupee.

::adjusts comb-over::

Wait, you want him to knock off the toupee?

He is balding… I’m going to recommend he stay away from wearing a head rat. :slight_smile: