This is a beef I have with even some of my best friends. It’s too mild for the Pit, but it is annoying!
I’m single, not particularly unhappy with this state of affairs, even if I do enjoy male attention. Now every time a guy shows some interest in me and my friends notice or I tell them they ask me: “So do you like him?”. And I (often) say “No, he’s very nice, but just totally not my romantic type”, and then they reply: “Are you sure?”. This bugs the hell out of me! :mad: Why do they think I would not be certain about something like that? Should I be so totally grateful of male attention that I must think twice before turning down anyone? Is being single so incredibly tragic that I must explore any and all avenues to avoid this terrible faith? They mean well and all, but I find it a bit insulting even, to be quite honest. To be clear, I never complain about being single or go on and on about needing a man. So let me be, please, I’m a very good judge of who I find attractive, thankyouverymuch!
Reminds me of an aunt of mine. Whenever she’d see me (which was rarely more than twice a year) she’d ask if I had a boyfriend. My singleness seemed to really concern her. So I figured she’d be really happy when I brought my new husband home to meet everyone (we’d eloped after a really short engagement.)
But upon meeting him, she had an unmistakable look of disapproval on her face - both my sweetie and I picked up on it. I have no idea what the problem was, but after all those years of concern about my lack of a man, you’d have thought she’d have been happier… :rolleyes:
But enough about me. You need to have some fun with this. Next time someone hits you with “Are you sure?” you need to pause a moment in deep reflection, then declare “On second thought, he’s perfect! But you need to ask him if he likes me before I tell him I like him…” Or come up with a similarly smart-ass response. “He’s OK, but I’m still hoping that *<insert celebrity name here> *will call .” Not that I could ever have done something like that, but it’s fun to consider.
For me personally, all of my serious loves have been an instant attraction (including Mr. Smaje, and we’ve been married for 8 years). If a guy had to “grow” on me, then it didn’t last long.
When asked or given grief about my single status, my go-to line is “Well, I ordered a boyfriend off Amazon ages ago, but they keep telling me he’s back-ordered.”
Javier Bardem! I’m waiting for Javier Bardem to call. Good idea, FairyChatMom.
Though in all honesty, I like flirting, fun and flings and all that, but my life is just fine as it is without a proper BF, even if it’s Javier…well…he if really insists…I mean, he now that he’s left Penelope for me and all that…
No I didn’t - I just assumed it was because he wasn’t as “good” as her sons-in-law - not rich or tall or a jock, and then there was his full beard. :eek: The fact that she was always concerned about my lack of a man but never asked about my quite successful career pretty much tells how shallow she was. Or maybe she was just a product of her generation. No matter. Her daughters have had 2 spouses each, and I’ve held on to this one for coming up on 30 years. I think I was the better judge in this case.
Hanging out with a married couple at a pub. We’ve got a nice conversation going that has nothing to do with relationships. Then, for some stupid reason, one person in the couple deems it necessary to bring the conversation to a halt to say: “Hey, that attractive girl over there seems to be alone. You should go put the moves on.”
If this were a one off situation, I wouldn’t even bother mentioning this. But it’s not. It happens a lot.
Seriously, I’m an adult. I don’t need your help and this ain’t my first rodeo. Let’s just enjoy ourselves with out having to worry about my love life.
Another thing couples do that annoy me: Casually mentioning so-n-so is single while giving me that knowing look. Yes, thank you so much for that. :rolleyes:
I had an aunt who would do similar perplexing things. I eventually just decided that her standard operating procedure was Being Disappointed. PookahMacPhellimey, you have my sympathy. The only thing more annoying is being asked ‘why don’t you want to go out with me?’
You could try saying that studies indicate that it only takes 5 seconds to determine whether you’re attracted to someone or not. Anything longer than that is either second-guessing or confirming that there aren’t rational stoppers.
Unfortunately, that 5 second conclusion doesn’t come with a printout of reasons why.
