and I’m jealous.
I know, I made my choices, she made hers, but I really want to whine.
I chose to marry a man who was poor, whose family did not want us to marry (because they are evil/crazy.) We had a very simple wedding, spent less than $800. We had many things donated or done at cost as gifts to us (invitations, food, etc.) My attendants wore nice dresses that they already owned. We took 3 days off work and stayed home for our honeymoon.
My sister’s new in-laws-to-be could not be happier. Her fiance is well-off. She is having 6 attendants, including me, and buying all their dresses for them. She is having professional photography done, catered food, a bakery cake. They are going on a Mexican cruise for their honeymoon.
I am so happy for her, and so happy that she has found love. I’m honored that she has included me as an attendant, even though we aren’t as close as we used to be. But I’m still jealous that she has so many prettier things than I did. I just want to get that out, and I don’t want her to know about it, so I’m telling you all, instead of my IRL confidantes. Sorry to burden you all with my jealousy, no responses are needed, I just wanted to tell -someone-.
This is the ideal place to let off steam like that.
I can understand your feelings - although you’re probably describing envy rather than jealousy. It’s not that you don’t want your sister to have those things, it’s that you’d have liked to have had them too.
Hope your post helped you feel better. 
If it’s any consolation, I’ve observed that the bigger and fancier the wedding, the greater chance it won’t last. My wife and I had a very cheap wedding and hosted the reception in our backyard. We had essentially a potluck dinner and drove to a 3 day honeymoon. That was 22 years ago. Since then, we’ve gone to several very fancy weddings that didn’t last much longer than the wedding cake. Give me a plain wedding and a solid marriage over a fancy wedding and a fast divorce.
At least you’ll be there to enjoy the beautimosity of it all. And you don’t have to pay for it. And you’ll be in the pictures!
Personally, I could never go the Big Wedding route. I’m just not that girl.
Vent, whine, whatever…let it all out here. I can understand what you’re saying. Life isn’t fair sometimes and there’s nothing wrong with feeling down that things don’t always turn out the way you want. I totally commend you for bringing it to the boards instead of real life.
FWIW, my wedding was totally on the cheap even though my IL’s were well off and loved me. I just didn’t want to spend a ton of money on one day. I was proud and wanted to pay for the wedding mostly myself even if it meant having less. Sometimes I look back and think, man, I wish I’d let them spend more money on us. We could have had this or that. But then I think, hey, it really was only just one day in this wonderful 14 year (so far) marriage…why worry about one day?
Don’t forget: if your situation gets better, you can always go the Marge and Homer route and get re-married (married again? affirm your commitment?) after x number of years. 
Count me as another who’d prefer the eight hundred dollar wedding…and totally understands how you feel. Envy’s one of those things I’m good at.
My husband and I have struggled financially since before we were married; my oldest sister makes an extremely nice wage, her husband makes okay money, and they own two nice houses in Calgary already (in other words, they are very well-off financially) - then they won a $500,000 house in a home lottery. I’m happy for them; I’m glad that they are having such wonderful lives. But I think I know pretty much what you’re feeling, Ronia.
Then I think about my husband’s sister and husband and two small kids - they are struggling financially with huge debts from his student loans, and he was seriously injured in a car accident. They have almost no way of buying a house here in Calgary; it won’t be for years if ever, and meanwhile they can only afford to live in one of the worst neighbourhoods in town. I look at them, and think how lucky I am.
I guess you just have to tend your own knitting, and not be looking too much at what other people have and are doing. As it says in “Desiderata,”
Try not to dwell on twinges of envy, or feel too badly about them - you’re only human, too.
I am in the very beginning of planning a wedding and I think your feelings are completely normal and natural… but I must say from your brief description it must be a great feeling to have friends that want to pitch in and support you. I mean, when someone gives you their own labor as a gift its more meaningful than a Bed, Bath & Beyond gift card, if you ask me.
You sound like you’re handling it very graciously. Vent away, anonymously, here. We feel your pain (such as it is).
All the best to both you and your sister and your spouses.