“He who looks at a woman’s carpet with lust has already committed hot water extraction with her in his heart.” - Jesus Garcia, Steamatic Franchise Owner
“Yeah, I head about this guy, eh?, they kicked him out of the library last Wednesday, eh?, my friend Bob who works there said he was a real carpet shampooer, and he was still drippin’ as they shoved him into the cop car…”
Up here in Canada, we have Coit vans all over the damned place. You know, for cleaning common coital carpet contaminations.
Well, okay. 
That sounds downright biblical–I’ll bet that’s in proverbs somewhere. 
Good luck with this guy–it’s been my experience that these people don’t listen to opposing views or reasoned discourse. And buy lots of dino T-shirts–kids love dinos!
(wasn’t it GA that made the textbooks have some kind of sticker on the front re evolution a few years back?) :rolleyes:
Oh, I know ALL about it. Big and black, just the way I like them, and Oh so seductive. I’ve seen them around. 
Gives a whole new meaning to Coit Tower.
I’m probably too late with this advice, but my suggestion, if he got belligerent would be to say, “That’s OK, you seem to have issues: I’ll pray for you.”
Get in line, bub. 
Hey, it sure beats “Open Other End” - Anonymous
The OP should get “the hated guy” to ban books from the library. Like the one that includes fratricide, incest, murder, rape, idolatry, adultery, and a father sacrificing his daughter for victory in battle.
Just got back from the evening conference (and several glasses of wine at dinner) and of the 20 kids in his class, only ten sets of parents were there, and crazy guy wasn’t one of them. I did not bring up the whole evolution thing, but looking at the curriculum, as well as talking to the teacher in general, I am not too concerned and am excited not only at him starting ‘real’ school, but also going to be mystery reader now and then. I’ll take him on when the time comes.
My new concern is seriously, what the fuck. Admittedly, we’ve only had our kid for a little over two years, being adopted from Ukraine, but a couple of kids it sounds like read well and one is already writing cursive? I feel like a horrible parent for not having my kid know calculus already!
Oh, and I’ve had this handle for a long long time, having been a fan of one-hit wonders, although as I’ve gotten older (I’m sooooo old), I learned that those that I thought were one hits, like Thomas Dolby and Men Without Hats, actually had two or more. And tramp stamp vacuums? How YOU doin’?
I’ve heard about that one. I definitely will change my position, and go with the blowing him away option. If accomplished by dinosaur shirt, even better.
Perhaps an appropriate sticker can be designed for over this guy’s mouth?
Even from the small amount the OP relates it’s pretty easy to imagine that this guy revels in being in a hated minority.
It’s hard to emulate your founder (and demonstrate your piety) by suffering for your religion these days.
No matter how much you openly worship your god and practice your beliefs, everyone just goes right ahead and lets you, dammit.
You end up having to resort to attempting to do seriously dumbass and annoying things in the name of your religion so you can suffer and work and show what a devoted little godbootlicker you are.
Picketing funerals of soldiers and vociferously pursuing attempts to have your creation myths recognised as fact seems to work pretty well.
Good point, I’d not considered that to explain some folk’s behavior.
Wouldn’t worry about it overmuch; kids develop at their own pace. My Number One Nephew has two years to go for kindergarten, yet, and can already read pretty well on his own. But he’s 9000 thumbs when it comes to anything physical. His bestest little friend, however, was doing chinups (seriously) at 3, and is still uninterested in reading at almost-5.
When one of those annoying über-parents starts bragging at you about what their Little Darling has already accomplished, simply look surprised and concerned, and say “Oh, my goodness! I’d heard that causes cancer! Are you sure he’s okay? Have you had him checked out by a doctor?”
This happened to me when my son first started school. Don’t worry, most of the parents are lying. Even for those who aren’t it’s no big deal. With your help and support he’ll catch up and be ahead in no time.
My son was an early reader – it runs in the family; my mom, my sister and I, and both my sisters’ kids and my kids were all self-taught readers by age 4 – but was also physically about as inept as they get. He really had to struggle to even color in the lines by kindergarten. So don’t worry; each child progresses at their own pace, and not all their mental/physical skills develop in tandem. And it seems that extreme advancement in one area often suggests a lag in another.
And especially if you’ve only had your son for two years, you shouldn’t compare him to the others. It’s not fair to him or to you. Enjoy him being in school and be an active parent, and you’ll all have a great time.
It’s a short distance from Stanley Steamer to Cleveland Steamer, my friend.
DiosaBellissima, I’m a bit of a dirty old man. If you’ll let me nail you from the back, I’ll go in and rent you a carpet cleaners, but tell them it’s for me. It’ll just be our little secret, baby. Oh yeah.
Tempting, but it’s so illegal! You’re a naughty, naughty, dirty, old man! What if you were to be caught? What THEN? I mean, what would you do if you could never again rent from the Safeway?
No. I couldn’t do that to you, my love. T’would be a pain far too great.