My subway rants!

Two minutes?! Well then by all means light the bonfires and sharpen the pitchforks.

Assuming it literally takes 2 minutes, stand waiting and time exactly how fucking long that is. If someone took that long finding their payment method at a checkout line in a supermarket (where you’re warm and dry), most people would go out of their fucking minds.

Thank you! And yes, it is not uncommon at all for someone to take two minutes to pay their fucking fare (what’s worse is when there’s one of those people at EVERY STOP).

And what’s up with those foot long sandwiches that are on 11"? Huh?

Seeing a dad using a small stroller getting jostled by busy commuters who were shoving their way onto the train, and nearly pushed out of the train, and in general, how rude and pushy people on the Metro (Washington, DC) generally are, I’d be using one of those massive strollers with a cow catcher to be safe.

What about those assholes who cross their legs on the subway?! Grr. :stuck_out_tongue:

People who take two minutes to pay in cash would probably take just as long to insert the card the right way up.

How are the riders supposed to hold their farts in?

As soon as I saw the topic title, I thought “this has to be about the MBTA.”

Thank you for not disappointing me.

I noticed a stroller on the sidewalk the other day - it literally took up the entire width of the sidewalk. You would have a very hard time convincing me that someone who buys and uses a stroller like that is concerned at all about anyone else in the world.

Yes, you’ve brought that up once or thrice. You’ve mentioned your hatred of McD’s food smells so often that I associate that with your username. Also, I think of you every time I get McD’s food.

It’s a bodily function, and usually, folks don’t have control over it.

The babies are collapsible too?

It takes much longer than eight seconds, I assure you. They never have their cash out, the machine always spits it back three times minimum, and no one ever remembers how to do it right. Whenever I pay with cash on the MBTA in that manner, I always go to the back of the line and let everyone else with a CharlieCard on first. That way, they can all get on and the bus can start moving when I’m putting in my cash.

Something I really miss since moving back is the Japanese policy of not allowing people to talk on cell phones on trains and buses.

This can’t be helped sometimes. Sometimes the train is too damn crowded for them to even reach for their backpack.

Oh god, I’m totally with you on those.

Seconded. I love how a lot of the time the driver just tells them to get on so that they don’t hold up everyone on the bus. They get a free ride because they couldn’t bother to prepare?

I was held up on the Red Line this morning due to a disabled train in Downtown Crossing, so right there with you on that.

Farting in someone’s face intentionally is rude. But I can’t help if gas leaks out of my ass after a long day. I doubt I’m alone in this.

This made me laugh way more than it should for someone my age.

Down here 'round DC, eating anything on the train is illegal and will earn the eater a visit from the transit police.

Here in San Jose, eating is illegal on the Light Rail. So is smoking and riding bikes and skateboards at the stations. Transit security personnel–if they’re around–will usually give offenders a stern look, if they take notice at all.

Failing to fold a stroller 'round here is something else which can earn a visit from the transit police.

  1. They never put enough jalapenos on my sub

  2. They don’t have that garlic butter spread to put on your bread before toasting it anymore

  3. I usually have to explain to the cashier how to make a pizza sub

  4. The featured footlong of the month is never anything good

  5. They don’t have that gorgonzola sauce anymore either

  6. The herb and cheese bread used to be tastier

  7. The chip bags are too small

  8. They don’t have Mello Yello in the soda dispenser anymore

…what?