My Voo-Doo Co-Worker

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So I am sitting here listening to one of my coworkers (no, not The Pwincess Pwecious) tell another coworker how to get back at her enemies. It had something to do with burning candles and writing their name in wax or blood or something while chanting.

I could take exactly three minutes of this.

I poked my head into her cubicle and said—with a a mysterious, witchy look on my face—“you know what’s a really good way to get even with people who annoy you?”

Coworkers: “Ooooh, no, what?”

Me: “Shoot them in the head.”

2

Yeah, but then you don’t get to play with blood and fire.
:wink:

3

You’re missing the obvious conclusion here, though.

Eve+Voodoo+Hatred for Pwincess Pwecious=Pwincess Pwecious Eliminated-Voodoo Style.
Think about, for about ten minutes of your time, a little blood and two bucks for a candle, Pwincess Pwecious could be eaten by demons! Run over by a truck! Disemboweled by a tiki doll!
“Noooooowwwww, I’m being tewwified by a howwible demon! My haiw feels like it’s being wipped out by it’s woots! AAWWGGGH! The howwible pain! AWWWW!”

4

Oh, I think there’d be plenty of blood.

5

And brains!

Mmmmm… brains.

I guess it would have been funnier if my user name was “Zombie”. Oh well.

6

Ohhhhhhhhh! Cool! Pwincess Pwecious (and let us not forget her office cwone) going up in a big ol FWOOSH

Be sure and take lots of pictures. :smiley:

7

Kind of like Trilogy of Terror, only with Shirley Temple instead of Karen Black.

8

If I’m going to stick pins in anyone, I’m going to eliminate the middleman.

9

After you shoot them in the head, you really need to finger paint HELTER FWOOSH on the walls.

Pwincess Pwecious must be sent a message.

10

Eve, once again I am led to believe that you are one of the most wonderful people on the face of the earth. I want to be you when I grow up. (Of course, I’m probably older than you are now, but I still want to be you!)

11

Instead of replying, you should have just ducked back into your cubicle without saying a word. Just go back to your work. Then, if they beg you to tell them, just say, “Oh, never mind. You shouldn’t worry about it.”

Of course, they will. :smiley:

12

Eve , you are, by far, one of the coolest people I know. It is people like you who I wish to be.

13

I don’t know whether I’m flattered, frightened, or depressed . . .

14

Evil… Me like. :smiley:

15

What, exactly, would this voodoo co-worker be chanting, if I may ask?

I am getting the vision of some middle weight, mid-management corporate drone desk jockey* chanting, " Taste Great - Less Filling."

My question is purely for academic and mockery reasons.

*This no way implied that our Beloved Eve is a middle weight midlevel corporate drone desk jockey. She’s the Bomb!