She just moved in yesterday and is sitting in her open office, about 20 feet from my desk, chatting with another woman.
She’s cycled between “normal adult woman” voice to “affected baby-talk” voice several times during the course of this conversation.
I flinched when she first walked past my desk yesterday and said "Hewwo! in Lisa Simpson tones, but was hoping that was a one-off. However, no such luck. Give me strength.
Eve, did your PP move away from New York and over to Silicon Valley?
I recommend high explosives.
I am soo sorry you must suffer so horribly to provide us much needed entertainment but hey, thats how the universe works.
Yeah, but is she hot?
Please resist the urge to use your assault weapons at this time.
Please keep us informed. There is a bazillion page thread in the pit (Workplace Griping Anyone) rife with interesting characters, like Shredder Guy and Grandbooss and others…,.(sorry just waking up, can’t remember everyone!) sounds like she would be a great addition.
Also I am sorry you have one of those. I had one live next door to me in university residence, for one semester. That was over twenty years ago, to this day baby-talk in anyone over 3 makes my vision go red and I get murderous thoughts.
Aw, teela, you sound like you’we an ikkle bit stressy! Tee hee!
Very dangerous, manipulative bitch. Be very, very, careful around her.
Maybe somebody’s got a case of the Mondays.
You have my complete and utter sympathy. Here’s hoping it’s just a by-product of nerves at a new job, and that once she’s relaxed and settled in she’ll knock it the hell off. Doubt it, though. 
Nuke your department from orbit. Its the only way to be sure.
(Oh, come on, someone had to say it!)
For anybody interested, here’s Eve’s original Pwincess Pwecious thread, with plenty of annoying characters also: Mr. Whistle Nose, the Phlegm Swede, the Sexy-Talkin’ Man, the Favor Mouse, and more.
I’m afraid that my response to that would be very rude and out of my mouth before I realized it - “What the fuck did you just say? It sounded like you said, “Hewwo!”” I’m getting too old to be around polite society (although an adult woman talking in baby talk is not polite society - I also suspect sociopath). 
She didn’t call you a “rascally rabbit”, did she?
Yeah, but is she HOT?
This is very likely. The correlation between cutesy-talk and monstrous evil in grown women has been scientifically proven.
shrugs Sounds like she’s sort of silly, but she might be a really nice person. Give her a chance.
Second.
Thirded and the motion carries.
Be vewwy vewwy qwiet… she’s hunting wabbit.
Ouch. I have a coworker who does that while on the phone with her husband. She calls him during her breaks.
It freaks me the f out, especially since she’s sort of manly.