I’ve cleared out of the house for a little while so she can get her things out. It shouldn’t take her that long; she says all she wants is her clothes and her books, but we’ll see.
I wouldn’t say that all my inlaws are assholes or badtalking me. Her mother certainly isn’t; she has told me that this is not my fault and I know she doesn’t care for the new minister either. For that matter I don’t know that the minister is involved either. He’s the type who’d say that divorce is disallowed and that it’s her duty to stay and try to convert me, and he’s also told her that she has to keep taking her meds because I tell her to and the husband is the head of the wife.
I asked her a little while ago whether she intends to file for a divorce. She says she doesn’t know yet but only that she can’t stay here any more. I didn’t quote any Bible verses at her lest I explode from the hypocrisy, but I did ask her if there was anything else prompting her decision and she said there were many things but she did not feel as if she could talk about it face to face. We argued about who would get to keep the cats. My stepdaughter called her a lying bitch, which was not helpful.
I feel sick. I’ve never had a hangover before; do they generally last all day?
A proper hangover is nasty enough and lasts long enough for you to remember how much it sucks the next time you are tempted to get drunk in order to deal with a problem. You’re also coping with a staggering pile of stress which can’t be helping. Skip the booze/drugs, you need a clear head to handle what’s going on and you have my best wishes.
I’m so sorry, Skald Though I’m a Christian myself, I distrust organized religion for reasons just like this: if she’s getting this from her church, and not from her illness, it means that the church is doing a pretty good job at controling her through their own broad interpretation of scripture. That’s not what religion is supposed to be for, but there are plenty of churches out there who abuse the power they have over the faithful.
Skald, you are welcome to print out my post and show it to her, Christian, to Christian, this is no example of how a Christian should treat another of God’s children. As a Christian and a long time sufferer of depression this action reeks of a refusal of her to face what the truth is of what is going on. She truly needs a come to Jesus. There is nothing inconsistent with a Christian marrying an atheist and loving and caring for each other. Both are beloved children of God.
When Mother was somewhere in her eighties and a passenger in my car, she wondered aloud why G-d allowed one of her cronies to live into her nineties and still be able to drive when my Father died at 52.
I responded, “Mama, shit happens.”
It does sound like there’s something else going on aside from the religion thing, especially if the minister probably wouldn’t want her to get a divorce.
She’s been sick for a long time now, and I know from experience that it’s almost impossible to think clearly while in that depression fog. It’s entirely possible that she has reasons that she doesn’t want to tell you, or that she doesn’t even understand them herself. Just keep in mind, regardless of whether you two can eventually work it out or not, the problem is something that needs to be sorted out in her own mind, and unfortunately, there’s only so much you can do to influence that. Absolutely try your best, but it’s not a reflection on you if she doesn’t respond as you’d wish.
Feel free to PM me if you’d like to talk to someone in much the same situation. hugs
I’d say good riddance to bad baggage. She can’t be all that bright, seeing as how she posts/writes almost the exact same way sober as you posted in this drunken OP.
What was her Doper name again, btw? And I hope this thread doesn’t violate some “dragging in personal shit between Dopers” rule just because she posted here a couple of times.
Okay, I’ve gone from horrified and sad to starting to get pissed off.
What the blue bloody fuck does this mean?
She’s wrecking the marriage, but can’t talk to you face to face? What, does she mean to correspond about the issues via e-mail or smoke signals?
She sounds incredibly immature and selfish. I’m hoping a few days gone will screw her head back on right. For you, Skald, you need to start protecting yourself. First thing tomorrow, my friend, call a lawyer. You may not need it, but it would be worse to get caught without one.
Another lurker and longtime reader of your posts, Skald. I’m sad for you and angry that religion can be used in this way to justify walking out. I hope things work out for you.
Not to draw any equivalence with what you’re going through, Skald, but something similar happened to my sister. She was dating this guy she was head-over-heels for, who convinced her she had to attend his church if they were going to be together. She did everything this joker wanted and, one day, after three years, out of the blue, he told her he couldn’t be with her anymore because she wasn’t Seventh Day Adventist. She was absolutely devistated, and required counseling for two months before she could pull herself back together.
My sister gave her body, mind and soul to someone who used his religion as a pass to freedom once he was done with her, and it broke my heart to see her go through that. NO ONE should have to go through that.
So yeah, even though I don’t know you, Skald, I’m pissed for you, and for what you’re giving up, and for what you’re about to go through emotionally, and because you had NO GOD DAMNED SAY in it! :mad:
Anyway, this is terribly sad, but as was observed on that episode of Frasier where Marty Crane plays gay, “The young ones never stay.” But in the end, it’s better to have loved and lost, I guess you could say.
Though I’m a Christian myself, I distrust organized religion for reasons just like this: if she’s getting this from her church, and not from her illness, it means that the church is doing a pretty good job at controling her through their own broad interpretation of scripture. That’s not what religion is supposed to be for, but there are plenty of churches out there who abuse the power they have over the faithful.