When I was in the army my wife and I hadn’t been in our apartment for 3 weeks before the washing machine pump jammed and flooded the laundry area. Apartment boss sent out a repairman who dislodged from the pump a pair of panties that could have doubled as a parachute. Well they weren’t mine or my wife’s so we naturally assumed they belonged to the previous tenant and so the repair wasn’t our responsibility. Apartment boss came back at us with the suggestion that I’d had a sugar mamma over and that they were her pants. Wife looked at me, and then at him, and then bit his head off for projecting on me.
Your marriage is in trouble but maybe it’s just hormonal. Sorry you’re having to deal with it.
Where did the panties come from? Your wife may be a jealous, hormonal bitch, but that doesn’t change the fact that she has a perfectly valid concern here. Panties don’t just materialize in someone’s laundry. So be honest, now - where did they come from? If you don’t know, take your best guess. Details, please.
What possible reason did Stoid have for her stubborn insistence that, despite what every lawyer on the Dope told her, SHE was correct? The fact is, some people are not very smart, discreet, or thoughtful. How the hell should I know why he started the thread? That’s what I want to know.
You have to admit that his wife’s concerns are not unfounded. She found another woman’s panties in his laundry. This is a perfectly valid Red Flag.
So, let’s hear it, pool. Where did they come from?
I also would like to know where he thinks the panties came from.
He must have told his wife something other than.. 'duh.. I don’t know. You are crazy and jealous woman so leave me alone."
Also as others have asked, it seems like your wife has been jealous before. What made her like that? Was she always the jealous type?
So you think he had an affair and forgot about it? I see absolutely no reason to not take pool at his word when he said “I have no idea where these panties came from so my vehement protests are not taken very seriously.” Why people on this board feel the need to interrogate and second-guess OPs instead of either dealing with the intended subject of the OP or just moving on to the next thread constantly amazes me.
Why on earth would your lover’s panties be in your laundry? God, he must be the worst cheater in the history of the world if that somehow happens. “Oh, just throw 'em in the hamper - my wife will wash them for you.”
When my boyfriend used to live in an apartment with shared laundry facilities once we found the world’s most enormous purple thong in his laundry. It was all threadbare and sorry, too. I still make fun of him for it and that was five years ago.
The “evidence panties” are just as much evidence that your wife has a lesbian lover as they are that you have a heterosexual partner. Tell her that if you had found them, you’d have probably had momentary doubts and possibly accused her as well. Her reaction will probably be “but I’d never do that.” Perhaps then you can say “And I’d never cheat on you either.” Then you can hold her while she has a good cry and perhaps move on.
Divorced guy here, so my advise is probably tainted. I do not handle unfounded accusations well. If my wife accused me of fooling around and I wasn’t, I’d explain that I wasn’t. If that was not enough, then fuck it, I’d start.
If I’m going to be accused anyway, I might as well enjoy it.
He’s bored of the accusations that he’s cheating, when (I am assuming based on what he said) he isn’t. It does get really old when you’re trying to defend yourself against something that you shouldn’t even be attacked for. Quite frankly you were acting like a bitch - your post here was a little more civil. And sure, that entitles her to ask questions, but it sounds like this is an ongoing thing.
I concur with those who are mostly just curious about where the panties could have come from. They are a genuine reason for the wife to be suspicious, not just dismissed as a paranoid crazy bitch. Anecdotes about articles of clothing being accidentally acquired from public laundry facilities are not applicable since (as is my understanding), this was found in the OP’s own personal machine at home.
The undies had to come from somewhere. Strange laundry never just turns up in my own dryer. The OP must have some kind of reasonable guess for where it came from.
Sometimes the dog that barks the loudest is the one that crapped the carpet. Maybe wife planted the panties in the laundry just for drama’s sake. Wouldn’t be the first time military wife took the kid, the paycheck, and ran off with boy toy.
Your wife is probably scared shitless. She’s pregnant (for the first time?), you are going into harm’s way and she is going have to do everything herself from now on, at least until you come back. Her life is about to get very complicated.
The army has services that can help families with these kinds of issues (don’t they?). Find them before you deploy or find an independent marriage counselor so, at least, she has someone to talk to about her issues while you are gone.
