This question has come up a number of times. I happened upon this little gem today:
Pretty dog-gone close, huh?
I can only ask “How did you ever come up with that?”
So, is that Burgess Meredith? Seems like the Twilight Zone, **Earl Snake-Hips Tucker ** what is the name of that episode?
My thoughts, exactly.
Well, I understood when you posted that question about Froggy in the Our Gang short.
But, what in the world are you watching reruns of “Burke’s Law” for? Don’t tell me it’s out on DVD.
Can you provide us with a cite from that episode?
… and I think you should contact the media to announce that you’ve discovered the source. Seriously.+
No, that’s where the phrase “The whole nine yards” comes from.
No, but TVLand ran the series several years ago. Some of us taped it to preserve it for posterity. 
…and I thought that I had no life… 
Call me wonky, but I always thought that it came from “Yellow Submarine.”
I’ve got it on dvd. I guess I’ve got some watching to do.
I see that line in the synopsis, but not as a quote.
Czarcasm, were you unable to watch (or did you miss) the clip linked in the OP?
Here’s a partial transcript in case :
Man: What does it do?
HH: Do?
Man: Yeah, what’s it for?
HH *(stuttering)*Nothing, nothing, I mean, that’s the beauty of it!
Sorry, it wouldn’t play for me. I trust your transcript, though, and it does sound pretty close.
Well done! I think you’ve solved it.
Yeah, I think that meshes. Good job.
It’s close, to be sure, but the version I remember clearly says “It doesn’t do anything,” with a good bit of stress on the word “do.”
It would also seem to be too dated and obscure to register in the heads of the staggering number of people who know that quote. I mean, I wasn’t born until 14 years after that episode aired, and I’ve never even heard of the show, let alone seen it.