Quad Bike Death Girl
18" DHIBJD
Original Poster
Unoriginal Poster
Party Pooper
Cite!
I wanna be Zebra’s Love Slave
The Goat
Sheep
Minority Reporter
Arkham U Cheerleader
Sandimashighschoolfootballrules!
If I weren’t lobstermobster, I would be want to be ** Pile Denial**.
You know how when you move you always have a ton of trash and broken down boxes to take out? Well when I moved into my apartment into New Orleans, I broke down all boxes and made a neat pile outside on the street for pick up (this is the protocol) The regular non-recycle garbage I put in plastic bags in a can out by the curb. The city just wouldn’t pick it up. I left notes, I called my landlord, did everything I could think of. The pile was there to stay unless I wanted to shovel it into bags and drive it off somewhere (I think we all know the answer to that one)
August turned to september and the cardboard turned to oatmeal. People had been adding their own personal touches to the pile so by the end of october it’s above waist height. Whenever I had friends over the first question would be “Leslie, why is there an enormous reeking pile of garbage outside your apartment” I would answer, “I have no idea what you’re talking about” and then quickly change the subject.
Eventually two friends sat me down and had an intervention. They told me I had pile denial and went back and forth about how it made them feel. It was truly absurd. While I didn’t actually clean up the pile, I took their concerns to heart. Several weeks later, the pile was gone, leaving a huge ring of dead grass (don’t worry hippies, it grew back eventually)
Here are some other names I like:
**Blunt Force Trauma
Hey! Is that an iPhone?
Sigmund Droid
Jesus Crisis
Slut Feathers
**
Pile denial made me think of a friend’s theory about when one household has a garage sale and does the work to advertise it, and then the house next door quickly organizes and sells their junk too, since all the preliminary work is done. So:
Blunt Force Drama – For fans of hack-and-slash novels. Ambisinister Cake Battery Turing Cathedral – A rather brutal pun on Church and Turing. Curried Lambdas on Lembas