We bought a 5 foot tall nutcracker for 1/2 price the day after Christmas.
What shall we name him? The best we have come up with is Captain Christmas. Too lame. I know the Dope will come up with something clever!
Captain Christmas is cool enough! Although, considering at what height the actual “cracking mechanism” sits…I feel the need to work in a testicular joke of some sort…
You need to get out more.
Wait – with that guy guarding the door, maybe you can’t get out more.
Never mind.
The only nutcracker whose name I know would be my ex. Her name was Tamara.
He looks like a Stash to me (that’s the Polish pronunciation. Short for Stanislaus I believe).
Lorena
Filbert
Snerk!
I vote for either Mudcone or Skimmelshanks. That’s what I named the two that were stationed in the driveway of our old apartment complex.
There was an article in the paper a couple days ago about someone whose large nutcrackers were stolen and wrecked. She’d named them Mr. Nut and Mr. Cracker.
Care to elaborate on why you named them that?
He kind of reminds me of Flashman.
My roomate used to work at a hockey rink doing maintenance and two of the guys he worked with were world class potheads. They came out of the work room one day laughing and laughing and insisting that from now on that those were their names. It was just so silly and random that I started cracking up too and those names have stuck with me ever since.
“Landfill”
or
“Kindling”
Hey! Smile when you say that! 