My wife and I are old, as in 61. We currently have a king sized bed that is adjustable and really comfortable. Since both sides are independently adjustable, it’s actually 2 Twin XL beds shoved together. The problem is that this creates a gap between the bed and makes it difficult for us to be physically close to each other. We could get one King mattress but then we give up the individual adjustments. She likes her head and feet far more elevated than I do. I’m a side sleeper and when I try to sleep the way her bed is set, it feels like I’m shaped into a U.
So it’s two completely separate bed frames shoved together? A king size mattress is 76 x 80, which is exactly the size of two XL twins. I would get a king-size bed frame and put the two XL twin mattress sets in it. Then I would use the XL twin fitted sheets, but the top sheets and blanket/comforter would be king size, so there would be no barrier between you. You can even fill the gap between mattresses, I’m sure they make foam things for exactly that. Here’s one.
(This depends on the mechanisms for adjustability fitting into the king frame.)
It’s 2 separate mattresses and pedestals shoved together within a single frame. The “frame” in this case is purely decorative and doesn’t hold the mattresses like is traditional. It just encompasses the beds and is attached to the head board.
When my wife and I had to put up with two singles shoved together, I found a strap that was at least 180" long and had a buckle and simply put around the two mattresses in the middle to tie them together. The strap was thin enough that we didn’t feel it. Worked well.
If firmness was the main problem, a Select Comfort / Sleep Number bed might be a good option. They’re quite expensive, of course, but each side can be adjusted the way you like it.
We had one for many years. It wasn’t as durable as we’d have liked - the outer fabric cover had apparently torn, which meant it didn’t really stay all that rectangular. And with very different pressure settings, there was a bit of of a cliff effect moving from one side to the other.
I don’t think they work well with the adjustable bed frames though - and if you like an adjustable bed set with different head / foot heights than your spouse, I’m not sure anything will solve the problem when they are set differently.
Can you each achieve the elevated bits with pillows? She can use more pillows to be comfortable and you can use less but on a single mattress so there can be cuddle time?
In the photo of the gap filler in the link I provided, there is apparently a strap running around the outside edges of the two twin mattresses, which must therefore be around 320 inches long. So I assume that is a type of product that exists as well.
That’s what we did before we had the 2 beds pushed together and she’s suggested that she’d be willing to do it again. Unfortunately, she has rheumatoid arthritis which causes pain issues. She moves around a lot during the night and the pillows get out of place and then she wakes up in pain.
And this would work for flat beds but once the head and feet of the beds got se at different heights, I think the strap would come off and I don’t think the gap filler would stay where it needs to be.
My Wife and I have a sleep number which is basically two beds stuck together. No real gap problem. BUT since my wife likes her side real firm, and I like soft, there almost might as well be a gap.
Oh, and I don’t know if sleep number makes a bed that has elevated head or feet.