You little SnoopyVixen you… 
Think you got us figured out now, huh?
Piffle. The guys that are worth going for will take all the wooing that you can pitch.
Yeah, Snoops, I’m going to have to disagree too. Us guys are the ones who tend to be straightforward. We’d just as soon hear a woman say “let’s jump in the sack” but a lot of us are too nervous and play it safe, so to speak, rather than risk being too forward.
AmericanMaid, now that Bat Manuel has made physical contact with you, I think it shows that he’s probably interested. Or else he’s really eccentric :rolleyes:. So I’d say go for it.
<SnoopyFan steps out of her time capsule>
Eureka! It worked! After fifty years in suspended animation, I’ve awakened! Oh, miracles of modern science, what marvelous adventures await me here in… The Future?
Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of…
SnoopyFan In The Twenty-First Century!!!
Now we join the continuing saga of AmericanMaid and Bat Manuel
He swung by my office this morning to borrow a pen. Haven’t seen him since. If we’re both playing hard to get at the same time, this could get a little ridiculous.
Maybe he is gay.
Okay - he goes out of his way to see you on the skimpiest of excuses … and you’re still wondering? 
Julie
This guy is throwing you mixed messages like crazy. When you suggested a comedy show and he couldn’t make it, if he wanted to date you, he would have made another suggestion at that point. The ball is in his court now, but I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for him to return your serve. Sorry - not getting a good vibe from this guy at all. In my opinion, your best bet would be to forget about him until he comes to you with declarations of undying love.
Of course, to remove all doubt and “what-ifs”, you can just tell him flat out that you like him and want a date and see what he says.
I’m with featherlou on this one. For whatever reason, this guy is jerkin’ your chain. Maybe he thinks it’s fun.
Call his hand. If you must, invite him out one more time. If he declines, write him off, and do it immediately.
This IS IMHO, right?
I think he’s interested and at the same time nervous. If a woman started making moves on me, I’d be curious. Just because that does not happen to me. Maybe that doesn’t happen to him and he’s confused as to why you’d be making moves on him. This happened to me once, but because I was an idiot, I did not recognize the signals. I agree with featherlou, let him know how you feel because maybe he doesn’t know exactly how you feel. I wished the girl that went after me told me that, because I really had know idea.
:smack: :smack: :smack:
…no idea.
Forget him , he is either a terribly insecure “male”, or he is not interested. If he was interested, and if he was worthy of his xy genes, you would be with him by now.
what** ParentalAdvisory** said, sometimes when a girl pursues a guy, it confuses them, at least that’s what happened in my case and after the fact he said maybe he was insecure and didn’t understand why I wanted to spend time with him. But if he didn’t get the hint pretty fast or after the first outing, I’d take the hint that he is not interested, or involved. And in my experience, I agree with Snoopyfan, although I’ve always done the pursuing, I don’t think it really works. Be approachable and if the timing is right he’ll hopefully ask you out.
I am not a guy.
…
I don’t care what guys tell you, they do not want to be wooed. At least not in the way women want to be wooed. And they DEFINITELY don’t want to be babied.
[/quote]
I’m a guy. But, and maybe you seem to have missed this point, all us guys human beings before we are guys. We’re not another species. We’re not weird, incomprehensible beings who all think identically. I’m sure there are some guys who get all uppity if a woman thinks she can pursue him in a relationship, but there are just as many guys, like me, who really don’t mind at all (and actually like it). I am an individual. I don’t engage in male groupthink.
Or maybe he’s like me and loses interest if he feels like he’s having to do all the work (which, he certainly isn’t, AmericanMaid seems to be putting in the hard yards* for him)
*This may be a sporting analogy. It may shock and concern you to discover that I’m not a big fan of sports. That’s so weird, isn’t it, that all us men aren’t the same?
AmericanMaid, I have no idea what the guy wants. I’m of the same gender as he is, but that doesn’t mean I can explain his behaviour any better than you can. Perhaps he’s insecure. Perhaps he’s not interested. Perhaps he’s a jerk.
Speaking as a definite hetero guy, I do not mind gestures of affection, but they have to be appropriately portioned. A relationship goes out of balance when one party gives more than the other, and the offering is not understood or accepted in the manner in which it is presented.
I’ve been in relationships where more was offered than I was comfortable receiving, and also where the converse was true.
If this person has been in other relationships, they may be wary of accepting your pleasantries, regardless of how pure or absent of motive they may be.
Pressure usually=running.
If you’re ahead of him, let him know your feelings in a subtle way, and await a response, with patience! Banging on the monitor won’t make that email show up.
Good luck, and don’t get hurt.
Geeze, I forgot that XX is girl and XY is guy. Well, you have my response anyway, American Maid. From one girl who was in unrequited lust for many, many guys to another.
Were I not married, I’d be asking AmericanMaid out right now, based solely on her casual use of ‘solicitude’ and ‘recouped’ in her OP.
So. Just thought I’d share that.
- Rick
AmericanMaid, have you considered that he, like many men compared with women, may have the emotional sensitivity of a spanner? As others have said, men are different. Simply go up to him and say what you feel.
Either that or go to his cublicle and strip off and jump his bones.
American Maid, are you working in the same office as this guy? If he’s allowed to visit you at your desk, you must work for the same company, right? I’m bringing this up because I think it would be unwise to force the issue if you work together. You’ve dropped obvious hints (i.e. “So, I recouped by saying he can pick a movie. I’m always up for a movie”) and if he’s to shy/scared/stupid to respond, well there nothing you can do, except remain friendly. You’ve been candid enough, any more and it could result in a very awkward situation at work.
Hey, I’m back from a mini-vacation amongst the leaf peepers. All the points mentioned here are so darn valid! With this time away, I developed a plan of action. I’m going to continue being nice to him, getting to know him, and actually letting him get to know me with no end goal in mind. If it leads to dating, that’s be nice but if it leads to a great friend that would be just as nice. I think listening to what my peers thought and getting wrapped up in my hopes and dreams lead to this feeling of urgency. If he wants to chat or take me to the movies, he knows where I am.
Just to answer some questions, he isn’t a co-worker. He’s a fellow student. And I know my topic is asking advice from the Y side but women are welcome too. Insights are always helpful no matter the source! And Bricker? Back at you