I’m really confused about this. I met this guy about 4 months ago. He works at a store as a manager. While he was ringing up my order, I felt a little vibe of attraction coming from him. He looked sweet, didn’t even really look at me or say anything personal. I didn’t think any more of it and left.
I went back there a couple of weeks later. My car and a few others were pulling up in front of the building. He happened to be in front of the window. He was looking right at my car, trying to see if that was me inside. In other words, I knew that he recognized my car. He must have gone to the window to look after me when I left the first time. While in the store he started approaching me. He just stopped all of a sudden and was just looking at me for about 10 seconds. I realized after he started talking to me that he must have literally had to stop and think if he should approach me or not. I knew as soon as he talked to me the first time he would ask me out. I knew it so much I would have bet my life on it. It’s only happened in two previous relationships that I knew with this 100% certainty.
Over the course of a few months, when I would go back there, he showed me more and more that my initial “vibe” I picked up from him was accurate. I knew that he would ask me out as soon as he felt I would say yes, basically. He was always so happy to see me, he noticed little things I did and said, he remembered what I wore the first time we met, etc… He gave me the impression that he spent a lot of time thinking about me. He asked me lots of questions, but only about work. I in turn only asked him about his work. He only talked about his work and I only talked about mine.
One night while I was in the parking lot getting ready to go inside, I noticed him leaving the store. I wasn’t parked facing his direction. But, occasionally while I was gathering up my things, I would glance in his direction. He was just standing outside of his car looking at me for about 30 seconds. Then he got in his car and finally drove away. For some reason, I knew that he would ask me out the next time that I saw him.
When I saw him again he admitted to seeing me there the night before. He said he was going to ask me to go with him that night to buy me a drink. He said he thought I might be too tired as it was late. I believe the real reason is because he was scared to just walk up to my car in the parking lot and ask me out. It would have been kind of a crazy thing to do. He then asked me when he could take me out and buy me a drink. We talked over our schedules. I couldn’t remember mine completely as it changes from week to week. He asked if I would find out and come back the next day and tell him.
The next day he told me all of his days off. I told him mine and he picked the day we had in common, Saturday. He told me where he would take me. He then asked for my number and said he would call to let me know what time. I wrote my name and number on a piece of paper. I wrote down my full name because I have an unlisted address. Also, if a man I don’t know very well asks if he can call me, I usually just tell him my name and say he can look up my number if he wants to call. So, I was looking at my name as I was writing my number and said, “hey, I don’t even know your last name yet.” He said he would tell me when he called me. I didn’t even care what his last name was, but when he said that I thought it was weird. After I left, I also thought about how he only talked about our work, never anything personal. Any thoughts as to why a man might do this? Just being cautious, married, etc?
My cell phone bit the dust on Friday night. I used my home phone to call the cell phone and leave a new outgoing message. The message explained to callers that my phone broke and there was an alternate number left for people to call. I went out and got a new cell phone the next day. I wanted to see how it worked, so I just called myself, my home number. My home number didn’t work, just a weird buzzing sound. The phone company said some of the lines were damaged from the storm the night before. I then left my new cell phone number as an alternate. If he had called during this time, from Friday night until Saturday afternoon, he would have heard a cell phone going straight to voicemail with instructions to call an alternate number. The alternate number didn’t work. I felt horrible when I realized this. Needless to say there was no date.
I went there a few days later to apologize and explain. It didn’t occur to me that he could have texted and therefore wouldn’t have heard my outgoing message explaining that my phone had been broken. I felt horrible about all of this. It never occurred to me that he stood me up because he was so interested in me. He pursued me for months.
When I got inside the store, he saw me and approached me first, just like always. When I started to apologize and tell him about my phone issues, he interrupted me and told me that he hadn’t called me yet, but he will, he’s just been really busy lately. I was going to ask him what happened about the date but I couldn’t because he just cut the conversation short and practically ran away from me.
I had never been so confused in my life. If wasn’t for the fact that he had been so interested in me for such a long time, I would have understood it, but I didn’t see this coming at all. Would a guy get scared off if he called before a first date if he encountered those phone issues and not even leave a message? Would a guy feel stupid about this and possibly lie and say that he didn’t even call me? Is it possible that he texted me and didn’t believe my phone story? This guy chased me for months and was so interested, he initiated everything, he had practically “stalker like” interest and I don’t mean that in a bad way. I just don’t get it. Do guys occasionally stand up women they are very interested in and have chased for months? I’m at a complete loss on the outcome of this whole situation.
