Inspired by this great GQ thread title by Just Some Guy, I wanted to see what kind of other questions we could do along the same lines.
Example: “How do you swim? (need answer fast)” or "
The funniest one I could come up with on my own was:
“Tips to combat premature ejaculation. (need answer fast)”
“Who wrote the 1951 novel Spartacus?”
“How long do I wait to pull the ripcord?(need answer fast!)”
I did, because I am Spartacus.
Carry on.
“Do I cut the red wire or the blue wire?”
“She just said she loves me.”
“How long do you wait between compressions when you’re doing CPR?”
What’s the best way to unlock a Pit Bull’s jaw? (Need answer fast)
What’s the best way to stop arterial bleeding? (Need answer fast)
How do you stop a charging bull? (Need answer fast)
Which pedal is the brake? (Need answer fast)
How does this fire extinguisher work? (need answer fast)
How do you say “Where is the men’s room?” in French? (Need answer fast)
What’s the best way to get a necktie out of a lathe? (Need answer fast)
“What’s the best thing to say if a Turkish policeman finds a half-pound of heroin in your backpack? (need answer fast)”
Where is the clitoris? (need answer fast)
“I have a plane and a treadmill. What now? (Need answer fast)”
“What does a yellow light mean? (Need answer fast)”
I’ve taken the soufflé out of the oven, what next?
The police say they have a warrant, but my place is kinda messy. Do I have time to clean up?
Halp!
Can I fire and claim insanity? (need answer fast)
This mobster made me an offer he said I can’t refuse, can I renegotiate? (need answer fast)
SSG Schwartz
This works pretty well with some of the actual threads on the board
Can suicide before trial preserve any ill-gotten gains? (need answer fast)
Why are there open container laws? (need answer fast)
How long could an African Lion survive in West Virginia? (need answer fast)
How much porn do you have? (need answer fast)
How did “Surrey with the Fringe on Top” get stuck in my head? (need answer fast)
How did you tell your partner/family that you were pregnant?? (need answer fast)
Cut through the temporo-mandibular muscle on both sides of the skull.
Direct pressure. If that doesn’t work, it will stop pretty soon on its own.
Take away his MasterCard.
If the second from the right (in a LHD car) doesn’t help, steer toward something soft or cheap. :eek:
Any situation involving a Wilhelm scream probably needs an answer real fast. 
How long after a zombie bite does the victim “turn”? (need answer fast)