Scrotum stuck in toaster oven. Need answer FAST...

…and other hilarious rapid-response thread titles.

Gimme some-- fast!

Unplug it.

Do I have to open the door for cops with a warrant–need answer fast

About to give some guy from Nigeria my bank account number…

Should I cut the red wire or the blue wire?

How long does Viagra take to be effective? Need answer fast!

Where is the clitoris? NEED ANSWER FAST!

Actually, Fark had a thread about a very similar situation a few years ago:

Im stuck to my chair I’m so very scared

Guy got his scrotum stuck in the chair slats while he was jacking off at his computer. He eventually used scissors to get free.

By using it as a wedge to separate the slats. What did you think I meant?

Question about auto-erotic asphyxiation-ne

Breast milk spraying out like a busted fire hydrant valve. Need advise quickly!

Treatment for a sucking chest wound; need answer fast.

I’m visiting my fiance in a gated community and some neighborhood watch dude with a gun is approaching.

One diaper per breast should do it.

The cat’s stuck in the toilet?? Need answers fast plz.

High school jock just came up to me at lunch and called me a bitch-faced weed. sadface

Need witty comeback fast!

Actually, strike that last one. I told him to go to the jerk store smileyface
Now I need to know how to block a punch. Is it duck and weave, or weave, duck, block?
need answer superfast!

How do ypou fix a stuck valve on a passenger balloon? Need answer fast!

How long does it take for a climbing rope to completely fray through? Need answer fast!

What is the minimum time it takes for an old acid fuse to eat through the separating wall before the explosion? Need answer fa

Best way to put out a kitchen grease fire- need answer FAST!

Driving myself to the hospital but not sure I’ll make it- is it possible to deliver my own baby?

Skydiving and chute didn’t deploy need answer fa

It’s stuck in the toaster oven along with Happy Lendervedder’s scrotum.

Fuckin’ toast!

!tsaf rewsna deeN ?enihcam emit a esrever uoy od woH