Need feedback on job app cover letter by end of 7/29

I am applying for this job.

I need to submit by end of business Friday. Any constructive criticism is appreciated. I would especially like to shorten it some.

I have xx’d out a few items to protect my identity.

It’s pretty long for a cover letter, IMHO. You really only need a couple paragraphs describing your expertise and job history. There’s no reason to include the stuff about medical emergencies or other personal information, just say what you did and for whom. Finally, a personal pet peeve of mine is beginning a letter with “my name is,” since your name is on the top of the letter anyway, but some people don’t mind. :slight_smile:

Where I simply eliminated a word, I italicized the following worde. Otherwise it’s in bold or bold italics (I lost track of my plan partway through.) If something’s gone and there’s no formatting to indicate why, I just took it out to eliminate the size of the quote, with no changes.

I’m sure others have or will have suggestions as well!

  • Cut it down to a third it’s size. two short paragraphs.
  • Use lots of bullets

Also, the cover letter is much less important than the resume. You may want to pass the resume around for suggestions, possibly even here.

Thank you. Based on suggestions her, I reworked the letter into this:

I’d like to thank again those of you who responded to my request. I have made it through the first cut, and I’ve been sent the questionnaire that constitutes Phase II, the essay portion. :smiley: I have 5 questions about my technical skills in different areas to answer.