I need some advice for a friend who’s mother is not dealing with his homosexuality.
I kinda hijacked this thread in the Pit (sorry guys!), as the OP’s mother is incredibly understanding and supportive of her gay son. This made me think of a dear friend of mine who has recently come out. He and his mother were once exceptionally close, and now they barely speak. She’s devastated and he’s tortured. To top it all off, she’s fighting cancer.
Now I asked the good folks in that thread if there are any support groups or networks for parents who struggle with their child’s sexuality. I plan on passing the info I received along to him , but I’d like to ask the same question here. One of the big problems, of course, is getting that parent to take the first step (any advice there?)
Also, for either parents who have gay children, or gay people themselves, how did you deal with the whole coming out process? Was it a struggle, and how did you overcome it? If your parents were not understanding, how did they eventually change (if they did)? And if they haven’t, how do you deal with it yourself (eg, outside help, friends, support groups, etc.)?
To give a few more details, he’s mid-thirties, came out very late in life, has a great boyfriend now (finally!), a very successful career, nice home, etc…and is probably the nicest, kindest guy I know. A parent’s wet dream, all in all – except (for some people) the fact that he’s gay. As I said, he used to be very close to his mother, who is in her own right a very successful businesswoman. A tough old broad, if you will. And now that he has a boyfriend, he wants to spend the holidays with him, show him his hometown, introduce him to his family, etc. All the normal stuff you want to do when you’re in love and want to share that happiness with others. Of course, this is out of the question as far as Mom is concerned.
Anyway, you get the gist. So if anyone has any good advice, please speak up. It’s really killing him, and I hate to see my sweet friend suffering so much. It’s a terrible situation, made worse by the fact that she may not be around too long (hopefully twenty years, but quite possibly only a few). In other words, there really isn’t endless time for her to slowly come around.
Thanks much in advance,