Need parenting advice fast - Spring fever?

In My Humble Opinion
1

My 14 year old son’s school ends next Wednesday but this week they have been given alot of homework and tests.

Well my son, whos done fairly well doing his homework so far this year, is just now practically refusing to do anymore school work. He does everything to avoid doing any homework. I have taken away all electronics but he finds other ways to waste time. I think he’s like “what’s the point?”. Or maybe its just the call of warm weather, I dont know.

I’m of course, wanting him to “finish strong”.

My question - is this “spring fever” common? Do you find your teens the last couple of weeks of school practically refusing to do anything? Any advise?

2

Maybe it’s the stress of having two openly heterosexual parents that’s causing him to act out…

3

I would go with Spring Fever. The end of the year is so close, I bet he can’t see anything else. When I taught seventh grade, it was like herding cats to get the kids to do much after Spring Break.

4

In this case, your job as a parent is to do your very best to help him understand what the point IS.

5

Does he have assignments that will significantly affect his grades? If he doesn’t, and you act like he does, you will lose some credibility with him.

6

I’m surprised, I had virtually no homework or tests the last week of school - that week was there so the teachers had enough time to grade and pass back all the final tests. The week prior was for tests, and very little homework was given then as well. Why on earth would a school assign important homework in the last week or two of school? That’s for handing in the long-term projects and essays, not assigning new stuff. Students always get feverish to get out of school and won’t pay any attention anyway.

7

In the OP you say “my son.” Does he have a mother or another father? The make-up of the family is probably key.

8

The Spring Fever Wiki indicates that it may be a real thing(s).

That makes sense based on my own experience.

My advice which you can take or leave is to be sympathetic and sit down with him to help him get the necessities out of the way.

9

I don’t know if it’s stress, but you’re definitely on to something.

Urbanredneck, are there any lesbians in your area that you could ask to hang out with your son for awhile? If not, maybe you could consider moving to a gay-friendly school district.

10

Maybe it’s having a father who identifies himself as a Redneck. Put yourself in his shoes. He’s probably embarrassed to be seen caring about his homework.

11

I know I would be.

12

My young teen son had a similar bout of homework-itis. My wife and I made arrangements with the teacher to let us sit beside him all day long at an adjacent desk and “help” him during class for the next week. We agreed to tag team with me taking the morning, and my wife covering the afternoon.

Once informed of this arrangement, the look on his face was one of abject horror. We gushed and acted like total dweebs about getting to meet his friends, and maybe helping him meet that girl he liked, and “it’ll be so much fun, honey!”. We explained that we simply had to be there for him since he wasn’t getting his homework done.

The problem solved itself, almost overnight. :wink:

13

Whoa!! VERY clever! :smiley:

I normally don’t approve of such blatantly manipulative tactics, but this was just too funny.

14

He’s doing everything in his power to communicate to you that he’s tired of your wants and expectations for him, driving his life. This is part of growing to manhood.

It’s time for him to take the wheel of his own life, sink or swim, starting today.

You can either step out, recognizing it’s time, or you can keep ratcheting up the micromanaging of attaining your goals for him. It won’t end until YOU learn you cannot push a rope! He absolutely will persist until you GET it, so now or later, your choice.

Attaining your goals for him will NOT be the making/destruction of him. Learning to form his own goals and expectations, and then working to reach them, including making his own mistakes and bearing the consequences, WILL be the making of him. Step back, stop with your aims, goals, expectations for him and all the micromanagement.

He’s 14 ! This IS the age he should be making mistakes, learning his life lessons. Or maybe you can protect him from that? No you can’t. He’s going to get life lessons, of his own fashioning, now or later. Would you prefer he starts making his own mistakes at 27? Because that won’t be pretty, I promise.

Bob Dylan was right, “Your sons and your daughters are beyond your command.”

Children will do whatever it takes to achieve independence from their parents ideas of/for them. It’s part of having an identity of your own. He’s just going to keep escalating until you figure out he wants to/needs to steer his own ship.

How is it hard to comprehend the challenge of trying to motivate yourself to achieve goals that don’t even feel like your own? How to feel pride in an achievement you don’t really feel ownership in? Your overbearing leaves no room for him to impress or amaze, himself or you, only room for compliance. And that is sad.

If I was all up in your life micromanaging your path to attaining my goals for your life, you’d be a pretty uncooperative asshole too, I expect.

I think you got a pretty good kid, to be honest. But you keep this up and you could transform him into a hellion.

Wishing you good luck!

15

The end of the school year sucks for everyone. Kids have just been through 8 months or so of work, and they’re wrapping up with tests, projects, even finals. And they’re burnt out.

My daughter is right where your son is. Kids all over the country are.

Try switching to rewards. Electronics after homework. Big prize as soon as school is done. Talk to him about how close he is to the end. One more week and he’s there. This is real life. Sometimes you have to suck it up, get it done, we’re there for you, we’ll support you this week, and at the end we’ll… Go camping, go hunting, buy that game he wants.

Anyway, he needs help. And maybe some caffeine. Good luck.