never poop again! (??)

Factual Questions
1

OK, I gotta ask. Strictly hypothetically, would it be possible to formulate a perfect food? One that, when eaten in the appropriate amounts, would be 100% useable by the human body without any excess waste. And if so, would this eliminate the need for excreting solid waste?

(I assume that expelling urine would probably always be necessary, as we humans need to drink so much water a day…)

Not looking for any practical applications, just curious if this is possible, and if it would lead to any negative effects other than a sudden plummet in toilet paper sales.

Oh… and while we’re on the subject of waste, I’m going to hijack my own thread and add an addendum: I’ve heard that in Australia and New Zealand, the toilets have two flush modes… a low flow mode for liquid, and a higher flow mode for solid. Is this true? It seems like a much better solution than the US’s low flow toilets that frequently need multiple flushes…

2

I don’t think all of our solid waste comes from food however. Isn’t there other internal stuff that comes out?

I suppose you could try eating a diet that had absolutely no fiber as an experiment.

I also think it’s impossible.

3

Twin flush toilets are very common in Australia now. They function just as described a half flush for fluids and a full flush for the bag of dope you’re dumping before the cops get inside.

4

This topic came up recently, the consensus was that there is more to poop than just food waste:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=134721

5

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=138232

6

Wow, how do you guys do this? Every time I try to do a search on the SDMB, I’m lucky if I get results within 20 minutes. And I’m NOT exaggerating. I usually don’t get results at all. Is there a trick to successful search here?

7

Can’t speak for New Zealand, but I think dual flush toilets are compulsory for new installations in most Australian jurisdictions

8

Japanese toilets, too. The handles have markings for ‘big’ and ‘little’.

9

I’ll speak for the Kiwi’s… I had the pleasure of going to New Zealand about a year ago for a wonderful two week vacation.

Yes, New Zealand has dual mode toilets.

My wife was enthralled by the two button toilets… full flush and half flush. Our photo album has probably a half dozen pictures of various models we… ahem… used.

10

Dead blood cells is what gives your poop thay nice brown color.

The more blood cells coming out the darker the poop.

11

Indirectly, I suppose, but The Master knows all:

Why is, um, fecal matter brown?

12

Why do the Teeming Millions have this recent obsession with not excreting? 'Tain’t natural!

13

Northern Sun sells a t-shirt with a diagram of the digestive system. The caption says, “Shit doesn’t just happen!”

14

I guess we’re all very busy people and looking for ways to save some time.

15

You damn young 'uns with your sex and food and booze and drugs! Don’t ya know that a good poop is best?!?!?!

16

No one seems to have yet mentioned NASA’s low residue diet. A turd free life has been a dream of mankind since cavemen first reached for the stinging nettles. It’s been an elusive quest, but now, with the help of NASA, anyone can learn to poop like an astronaut.

17

Damn, squink beat me to it.
A friend has gastric problems, and when it get’s too bad she goes up to the hospital and gets a course of “Astronaut food”. She doesn’t poop at all when on that.

18

**** Warning! Warning! TMI ahead. ****
This brings up an interesting side question; my ‘poop’ hasn’t been brown lately. Sometimes it’s almost a tannish yellow. Does this mean my blood cells are becoming immortal?

19

*This is NOT medical advice…but anyway, pale coloured poop MIGHT indicate a liver disorder…go off and get yourself a blood test for your liver function.

20

Yes, there is indeed a way to do it. See my sig for further details, and be sure to include the word “straightdope” to limit the search results to the SDMB.