The “Never Gonna Dance…” thread wasn’t what I thought it would be. Not that it wasn’t fantastic Flora, but I want to know this, teeming millions:

Is there anything that you swear you’ll never do?

I swear I’ll never:

Cheat on my husband.
Go on one of those plunging elevator rides.

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, dogs are from Pluto. - Anonymous

I don’t really think you can say you’d never do something…there’s all sorts of situations that could come up that might make you change your mind…but my list includes…

Never unnecessarily hurt another person.

“If you can’t speak softly, just use the stick.”

There are plenty of things I would swear I would never do (like not to drink alcohol, not to smoke, not to cheat on my wife, etc). Pretty tame.

But I bet I do have one that is rather unique amongst the TMs.

I swear never to break concrete with my head again. I did it once to show that I could do it, but never again.

What more could you expect from somebody who lets people kick him to the head?

I swear never to break concrete with my head even once.

I also swear never to get run over by a steamroller.
– Sylence

And now, for my next trick, I will talk in spooky half-references.

  1. Never dance, except for possibly at my own wedding.

  2. Never own an article of clothing from Abercrombie & Fitch or Banana Republic. (Although I used to say this about the Gap, until I got my favorite second date sweater from a Gap outlet store for $10)

  3. Never use the word “irregardless.”

  4. Never live in California.

Yer pal,

I’ll never:

  1. Bunji jump, leap out of a perfectly good plane, or ride one of those plunging rides.

  2. Have anything enter my “exit ramp”

  3. Stop a bullet with my bare chest or stop a train by pushing it.

  4. Stop my car on the train tracks.

  5. Commit rape.

  6. Commit murder.

  7. Cheat on someone I’m involved with. If I ever find myself in a position where I’m seriously considering straying, I’ll end the relationship.

8.Have anything to do with child porography.

  1. Steal.

  2. Sell or do drugs (OK, maybe I’ll try pot someday…but probably not)

  3. By myself country albums.

  4. Rule the World (not by choice…just the way it is. Your loss ;))

13.Piss on an electric fence.

  1. Play in traffic.

14 Kill myself.

  1. Consider the KKK to be “kinder and gentler”.

  2. Be a bigot.

  3. Become a terrorist.

  4. Engage in unsafe sex.

  5. Already covered under “murder”: Shoot the President to impress Jody Foster (although she is a lovely lady).

  6. Betray a friend.

< running off to add Jody to my “To Do” list >

You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.

Yeah, what Satan said.

I will NEVER take Buckleys.

I’ll never change.

Martyr #7

Never take a wooden nickel.

“What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?” – W.C. Fields

Sealemon88 said:

Don’t say never to number 2, if you try it you might like it. Ask Satan.

What if someone was going to shoot your SO, would you try to stop the bullet with your bare chest then?

Never say Never.


Things I’ll never do, huh?

  • Give birth.
  • Play for the Chicago Bulls.
  • Bend spoons with just the power of my mind.
  • And finally, bring peace to the nations.

I may keep trying with that spoon thing, though.

Satan you big baby!

Me?? an asshole?? You better believe it!

Heather Lee

I don’t have to. At my last physical, I got the glove treatment from the doc. If one finger felt like that, there is no way in in, under, or above God’s green earth that I’d stick something up there in a recreational sense.

Ya got me on that one. Except I would hopefully disarm the thug, then nobody would get shot.

You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.


You might have to modify that to something like “recreationally.” I assure you the doc’s gonna bring up the possibilty again. I was in a nasty car wreck once…I think there should be a definite “need to know” standard for education in the duties of a proctoscope.


I have sworn to myself never to wear Women’s clothing.

Working in the Theatre presents situations like that surprisingly frequently.

“Well, roll me in eggs and flour and bake me for forty minutes!”

The Legend Of PigeonMan - updates every Wed & Sat

I will never turn everything into an ass fucking argument. I’ll leave that to Satan!

I will never make a fucking ass out of myself! I will leave that to…

(Gotcha!) :slight_smile:

I vow to never make up my mind.

I’ll never learn to like peas.
I’ll never go to sleep when I want to.
I’ll never wake up when I want to.
I’ll never drive on the Hershey Highway.
I’ll never stalk anyone
I’ll never kick my step dad in the nuts, even though I really want to give him a shot to the go-nads

“I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”-- Calvin and Hobbes
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