That’s one thing I’m learning; never to underestimate how much “up” is needed to fix her.
My rant - I’m registered with four temp agencies in Calgary, and they are all studiously not calling me (or returning my calls), and yet they are advertising for more temps to fill their positions. A girl could get a complex here. What am I, chopped liver? Bunch of useless cows.
Side note to my younger sister: Shut up. SHUT UP. SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP. You talk non-stop so no one else can ever get a word in edgewise, and three-quarters of the stuff you say is just plain wrong. You don’t know everything, but if you would shut your pie-hole once in awhile, you might actually learn something.
I nearly got driven off the road by a stupid woman GMC the other day. I drive a Corolla, you stupid bitch! You would have killed me. And she did the same thing - stop and look at me in total confusion. Um, it’s a different fucking lane, and CARS are occupying this lane. If you can’t figure it out then you shouldn’t be driving.
This goes bang alongside the whole turn signal thing, too. Drifting is not OK. Drifting is never OK. I can’t read your mind, what little there is of it.
As for the two left lanes, around here they draw little lines on the ground! All you have to do is follow the little lines! And they can’t even do that.
This looks like a good place for one of my favourite pieces from the internets - Are Small Cars a Threat To SUV Drivers? It used to be on the Part-time Mom site, but it seems to be gone from its home now.
You know, I know now why screaming “Fuck you, you lazy useless cunt!” is illegal where I live. Because otherwise, I would be saying it every day, and that would, no doubt cause me to accrue bad karma beyond my ability to handle.
So, go ahead and come to work whatever time you like, and when you get there, please, do sit down and take a break. While you are at it, why not spend a few . . . oh, what the heck, a whole lot of minutes fixing a snack. It’s only work that you are missing. Invite your friends to join you!
Maybe you are a lazy useless cunt, but I won’t say so.
Dear Comcast:
I don’t bother you very often. You give me TV and internet, I give you money. It’s a good relationship. On the off chance there is a problem, could you, pretty please, hire someone who can actually help me instead of the snot-eating chair weights you usually get?
For example: Contrary to what Mavis in IT support claims, clearing the cookies from one browser on one computer will not prevent my internet service from cutting out simultaneously on all three of my computers. Mavis needs to be dragged out into the street, tarred and feathered, and forced to walk home wearing a giant sign that reads: “I’m incompetent and a lier.”
Also, when I have a complex billing problem involving 2 separate accounts, please let me speak to someone who is fluent in the predominant language of the area. And for fuck’s sake, when the client asks to speak to someone who is fluent, don’t instruct your employee to lay a guilt trip on the client.
Look, uterus, you better start bleeding and right soon because the pre-menstrual rage coursing through my body and mind today is making it very, very trying to deal with the copier/printer that says “add paper” when there’s plenty of fucking paper in there and now won’t work at all, or the gagillion calls that come into my phone yet when I answer there’s only a hangup, or the outright ridiculousness of not just spending $250.00 for a copy of PowerPoint instead of making me copy a PowerPoint presentation into Word in addition to sending off links to the viewer in addition to sending links to OpenOffice and then god knows I’m going to have to instruct the recipient how to use all this shit later and when you add up my benefits and salary it’s more than $250 spent of company time!
Yeah, that’s a good one too. There’s a street where the lanes curve at one point. It adds a turn lane, and the other lanes curve around to make room for the turn lane. So I stayed between the lines and followed the curve around. The guy next to me just kept driving in a straight line, to the point that I came dangerously close to hitting him, being as he was 1/4 into my lane. So he honked his horn at me, ostensibly for not ignoring the lane markers as he did. :rolleyes:
You know, AAAAAAAAAAAyyyyyyyyyyyEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE is spelled AAAAAAAAAyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyEEE, right? Oh, is that you, niblet? Sorry.
Cablevison, you and yours suck. Why did I have to spend nearly 24 hours and 5 phone calls re: my cable not working, with an explanation of “equipment upgrades in your area” and then 3 reps doing “diagnostics” to my home box before someone (a supervisor) finally figured out I had no cable because my account had been accidently cancelled!
You know, it would be nice if my boss would, every so often, pay his goddamn electric bill on time. They said they’d disconnect today, and by God, they did. No power for two and a half hours while we tried to get hold of the boss so someone could go pay the bill. It’s July, in Louisiana, and no power means no work and no staying in the builiding because it’s goddamn donkey-fucking hot in the building.
Also–parents, grow the fuck up and get a divorce already. Stop running to me telling tales on each other like two little tattling brats.
I love you Dad, I really do. But when I remind you for the 10th time that I’ll be carting the kids 1300 miles to hang out in the old home town, as opposed to, hmmm I don’t know, 6 Flags, Disneyland, Sea World, the local tar pit here, stop telling me you are ‘grandkidded’ out because your girlfriend’s grandkids are at your place every day wrecking shit.
Reminder: you haven’t seen these grandkids in almost 2 years. Yes I understand taking that 2 month vacation to traverse the US with your girlfriend, which caused you to drive past my house (literally he would have seen it) to your end destination, would have been a huge hardship to stop for a visit. I know, I know, it just didn’t fit the schedule.
It’s bad enough I have to answer questions about where the new girlfriend came from less than 3 months after Nana died, now to explain how (retired, doing nothing but watching Fox News 24/7 only to regurgitate it in multiple emails to his distribution list later) Grandpa was just too busy to visit.
Good thing there’s a beach there, and the other Grandpa who is beside himself with anticipation of seeing his grandsons.
To my cats: You don’t like tofu. You are obligate carnivores- you eat meat, not tofu. I’ve tried giving you tofu- you turn up your noses at it. So quit begging while I’m cutting up tofu for my dinner!
