Customs won’t let me send lots of alcohol. Will empathy work?
I didn’t realize shitty bosses could work on two different continents at the same time.
Solidarity forever ! 
repeat as needed.
Will Customs let you send smaller amounts of alcohol? And can you send multiple packages?
Regular little problem solver aren’t you?
I like your style.
This has always been one of my favorite threads… I love hearing about others’ work woes. But I haven’t had much to post since I retired. Then the other day, something happened at my former workplace…
One of my best friends got my old job!
Not precisely (they shuffled assignments around a bit). But they didn’t replace me (for a year they had part-timers filling that gap), so when they finally posted the job, this friend jumped at it. She’d been laid off* due to Covid, so it was perfect timing.
Her first text from work: “Shocked at how tiring this is! Six hours in and I’m exhausted.” (I told her it’s not the work, it’s the emotional give and take… and take and take)
…
*Half her workplace got “temporarily” laid off, with promises to be re-hired “when this is all over”. But in later meetings, the boss let it slip that they may not hire anyone back, so she was actively looking.
Brace yourself: retail/grocery rants incoming!
STOP LICKING YOUR GODDAMNED FINGERS!!! This is my NUMBER ONE bitch these days. People who lick their fingers before manipulating bills.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been doing this “all your life”. You have to stop it. NOW.
It contaminates your money - and anything else you touch - with saliva. It has NOTHING to do with whether or not you’re a “nice” person, or “Christian” (seriously? Yes, I’ve gotten that excuse), or if your mom/grandma/dad/grandpa/whomever is going senile. You CAN NOT do this anymore. For any reason.
If you do this we WILL NOT ACCEPT YOUR CASH. Period. Saying you’re sorry won’t change that. Offering to wash your hands won’t change that (your money is still contaminated). Saying you’re not sick won’t change that.
Can I say that again?
IF YOU LICK YOUR FINGERS AND THEN TOUCH MONEY WE WILL NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES TAKE YOUR CASH.
This is not negotiable.
If you do that here are your choices:
- Pay non-contact with a card
- Wash your hands, then open a credit card account with us
- Leave everything in your cart behind, go home, and try again tomorrow.
I can get behind this. Hell, people have Google Pay, and Apple Pay, and Walmart Pay, and all other kinds of contactless pay methods where all you have to do is get out your smartphone and wave it around.
A friend of mine works in a store that has signs posted everywhere: CARD ONLY! NO CASH! You open the till and it’s empty. The owner had to remove the cash tray to get it into people’s brains. Still doesn’t work.
I could see issues if it was a bodega with candy and gum. This is a higher end retail business where absolutely nothing is under $20.
Are you all still taking bra money? 
I don’t think you grasp just how many people STILL don’t have Google/Apple Pay, don’t have a smartphone, and so one.
1/4-1/3 of my store’s transactions are still in cash, and a sizable percentage of those people do NOT have smartphones, or credit cards, or so on. For them it’s either cash or a check (and we won’t take licky-checks, either).
Yep. We have 16 “NO CASH ACCEPTED” lanes. People still try to use cash. They even jam cash into the machines then get pissy because either there is a considerable wait to get someone who can open the machine and dig their money out, or there’s no one in the store who can do that (depends on time of day).
Fuck no.
Also, no sock money, no down-the-pants-money, and no money that’s all damp and sweaty.
My God, I wish we could do that. I work at a cash-only business (dispensary - that whole pesky “federally illegal” bullshit really fucks us) and I not only deal with old men who spit into their hands before lick-counting their stripper-butt-wipes into my hands, but I also get metal-money (a.k.a. change) that’s sticky.
How do pennies get sticky?
Never mind. I don’t wanna know.
The people with access to that kind of technology are NOT the problem.
People who REFUSE to handle technology are a big problem.
Until grocery stores don’t want their money anymore - roughly the same date that pigs fly - we have to deal with these old fuckers.
Another rant:
If I say “I can’t hear you - please speak up” DO NOT, repeat DO NOT pull the mask off your face, lean closer, and whisper-spew your covid cooties into my face.
The problem is NOT the mask - you need to SPEAK LOUDER.
This is strictly a GIRL problem. I want to beat to death whomever instilled in the female half of the human race that speaking barely audibly was the way to do things.
SPEAK LOUDER.
Especially in an age of social distancing.
Rant the Third:
WEAR THE FUCKING MASK.
Seriously. Quit your bitching and whining. I have to wear the goddamned thing for 8.5 hours at a stretch five days a week, I do not want to hear your piss-and-moan about doing so for a shopping trip.
WEAR THE FUCKING MASK.
I don’t want to hear about why you should be excused. At this point I don’t give a fuck. If you are that fragile use either home delivery or curb-side pickup. If cost is a problem I will happily give you the store director’s number and you can negotiate. I don’t care if you’re claiming a physical problem or a mental problem or PTSD or whatever the fuck it is. If you can’t wear a mask stay the fuck at home.
WEAR THE FUCKING MASK.
If you DON’T wear the mask then you DON’T get to complain there are not enough staff in the store.
Let me explain. Every time one of our employees gets covid (we’ve had half a dozen) we not only have to isolate that person, we also have to quarantine their close contacts. That’s usually 6-8 people. That is one reason we are constantly short-staff.
But go ahead - keep being a fucking snowflake and being defiant. Keep infecting our employees. But then DON’T bitch that there aren’t enough check lanes open, or anyone to help you in the store. Because it’s the fault of motherfucking assholes such as yourself who can’t fucking follow the rules that makes us essential workers sick.
WEAR THE FUCKING MASK.
Oops.
As I was saying: Being one of those “old fuckers”, I’m happy doing business in cash, but I never lick my fingers before going to the wallet and am always in my mask when in the grocery store.
Just sayin’
If that is the case then the rants do not apply to you.
Too bad you can’t have them drop the money into a basin of soapy water and wash it before handing it to you. Bonus is that the bills would all be separated and easy for them to count. They shouldn’t mind it being wet; after all, they were already moistening it. What’s a bit more moisture?
(I saw a news story once about a 5-star hotel in, I think, San Francisco that would literally launder your cash: the bills got washed, dried, starched, and ironed, and the coins were tumble washed and then tumble polished.)
One shop I go to charges an extra $2 to pay by card, so most people pay cash. You’re to fan it on the counter then step back. The cashier sprays it down with sanitizer (Lysol, usually), counts it, and only then can you leave.
End of FML week:
The cases I received have many problems. Missing court orders. Obligations not charging correctly. Should’ve been closed a long time ago. Some of my coworkers are trying to check them all in first. That’s impossible. You pause to review 200 cases while the train keeps moving? Not smart. I suggested pulling a report that automatically lists all cases and various markers that are important. As you touch a case for something else, then check in and note it on the report.
One worker made a comment that I’m a know-it-all. Dude, I’m not saying you have to do it that way, but I’ve been working here since you were in 5th grade; it’s fair to say I’ve learned a few efficiencies.
PCL/PDF trial. Discovered the co-guinea pig has been untruthful with management regarding her contributions. If all of our printing lands in a specific drive, and for the last three weeks only my docs are there? You Pinocchio fool. Claim you helped devise the tracking, but can’t explain the rationale behind parts of it? I’m your friend, but no. That doesn’t work and I will correct the misinformation, best believe.
Holy crap, we had another chin-protector in the store yesterday.
The lady’s mask was on her chin, not covering her mouth or nose. She was hyped up, talking a mile-a-minute. On top of that, she is (apparently, and also she volunteered this) hard of hearing and I had to ramped up my own volume. Apparently she thought not covering her mouth was doing the hearing people around her a favor. Thank Og there was a sneeze-guard between her and me while she was shouting to all and sundry. Disorganized and twitchy to the point I was beginning to suspect drug use.
I asked her to please leave the heavy stuff on the bottom of her cart (most people are totally OK with this). “NO! NO!” she shouts “I’M USED TO THIS!” and WHAM big crates of water and pop and kitty litter are on the belt. Now, I ask people to leave the heavy stuff on the cart because we have a wireless scanner, so I just go scan it where it is
- it’s less effort for the customer
- it’s less effort for me, who is slinging groceries for 8 hours
- if you fill up the entire belt with this stuff it is, in fact, possible to break the mechanism. I have actually been present when this happened. At that point, unloading the belt will not fix the problem. It will require disassembly and replacement of broken hardware.
But no - she’s unloading and unloading. Either can’t hear or is just ignoring my request to at least space the stuff out.
At the end, with the people behind her in line recoiling from her she says “why is everyone so grumpy today?” Because you’re a fucking Typhoid Mary, bitch. Uncovered mouth and shouting.
At least she didn’t use licky-money.
There was also the elderly lady who kept touching her mouth, touching the keypad of the customer terminal, touching her mouth, touching other things… Very much a nervous tic of some sort. Her daughter at least was trying to keep things under control and they paid with a card.
I asked the next customer to please wait a moment while I sanitized things and got a thank you for that.
And, oh fuck, apparently I strained something in my right wrist yesterday. I’m going to ask at work if I can be given a slower lane or maybe work the self-serve where there won’t be so much lifting.
I encounter this at work in the form of people who insist on licking their fingers while flipping through a report or a book. The worst offenders apply enough saliva to leave little wet marks on the pages.
Yep, was able to move over to the self-serve lanes today. My wrist is, at least, no worse tonight and with vacation coming up this week should heal up just fine.
Looks like, between my wrist and the dentist, my tentative plans to spend two days eating ice cream and binge-watching Netflix will definitely be a thing.
Dilbert on the subject: