New and Unimproved Workplace Rants

@digs, I think your problems was using the term, “slow clap”, which is often used to express disdain. See: SLOW CLAP (noun) American English definition and synonyms | Macmillan Dictionary for definition.

Thanks. I must be old, the movies I saw it in were before anyone thought of it sarcastically. I mean, it was a “You Go!” thing in Pretty In Pink…

I had to read that twice too, to convince myself I was understanding it right. The way @digs remark was worded, it was not entirely clear if that was a disdainful sarcastic snark at @Broomstick and @Ranch_Dip for their handling of those customers, or a disdainful sarcastic snark at those customers’ behavior as told by BroomStick and Ranch_Dip.

The phrase “Profiles in Courage” gave it away: It was a sarcastic reference to those cashiers’ descriptions of the COURAGOUS resistance by those tyrannized customers against their Retail Overlords!

“Slow clap” is usually sarcasm. If you misspoke then it would explain the moodwhiplash I experienced from your post.

So sorry! Striking it from my vocabulary.

Thanks for coming back, just so I know that you know that I didn’t mean to accidentally insult one of the good guys, and hang in there!

In dig’s defense, there is another definition for ‘slow clap’ in most of the sources I checked: “A form of applause (especially used in films for dramatic effect) that slowly crescendoes from one person’s clapping to a crowd’s.” But concur that the sarcastic one is most common these days, and I think dig’s has Mea Culpa’ed that.

So can we get back to workplace rants? This old retired guy likes reading why being an old retired guy is a good thing… :grin: :wink:

Ahh, but before you were retired, could you read at work? (see, we’re back on topic!) I swear, no one would ever talk to me in the lunch room… unless I opened a book.

“Heyyyy, whtacha readin’? 'Zit any good?” “Oh, cool, a book. Looks big.” “Look at you, reading. Good for you!”

Or my favorite: “I don’t read much myself…then why are you interested in MY book? Go. Away … but my mom reads John Grisham books. …And I’ll bet she smacks you when you interrupt her… Ever read a John Grisham book?”

I took to wolfing down my lunch, then taking a walks with my book, but half the year it’s too cold for that. And if I stayed at my desk then people would assume I was on the clock, so I’d try to find an empty office… once, my only refuge was the last stall in the men’s room.

On going pet peeve - people who won’t put the damn phone down!

Now, if you’re waiting in line for 10 or 20 or (even worse) more minutes, sure, talk away, play games, whatever. But when you get to the cashier and are checking out put the goddamned phone down. Hello? Human being here! Also, I might want to ask you a question, or need to ask you a question.

Outside of a genuine emergency hang up! Stop texting!

And don’t wave imperiously at me, as if I’m supposed to know what that means. Let me clue you in: I couldn’t foresee the need for the ESP course, therefore not a mind reader.

Try taking a science magazine into the break room at a company in a very conservative area of the South. “We didn’t come from no monkeys!” :roll_eyes:

For some reason, eating at one’s desk is common enough where I work that people generally leave you alone during designated break times. Back when I shared an office, I did resort to eating in my vehicle more times than I can count because of the way my office mate would swish his food in his mouth after chewing.


You’re still paying the same amount, just now 10% is going into some upper manager’s pocket.

I had a friend who was a bartender. He was working one Super Bowl Sunday when some guy walked up to the bar, ordered a drink, and them turned around and handed it to an underage girl. Unfortunately for the bar and my friend, Alcohol Control Board agents were there, saw it go down, and immediately revoked his license to sell alcohol, and fined the bar.

Minor rant really, but it just happened. Someone at my office got promoted, a note went out to our team announcing it. That is fine.

What really bugs me is that everyone does reply all to congratulate the person, so every time this happens my inbox is spammed with people saying good job. Since it was someone I knew I replied to only the person promoted as you should do. There is no need to let everyone know you are such a good a colleague you congratulate other people.

This happens every time and I feel like managers encourage it by not doing bcc on the message, which they easily could. Maybe they just like getting emails validating they did a good thing informing us? Whatever the reason, please stop.


I’ve seen that, back when I was working. In my opinion, it’s a form of virtue signaling. Depending on the company politics, it might be important for showing that you’re in the “in crowd” for promotability purposes.

I hated it too.

When I intend it to be positive I call it an 80s movie slow clap.

Like someone poking their head in your office and saying “Cake for Marcie’s birthday in the conference room!” and you say “Oh, good, I can avoid people that I’ve never had any interactions with, keep losing weight, and get some work done while all the interrupters are busy!”

And they say "It wouldn’t look good if you didn’t at least show your face."

WHAT? Is this place so shallow that, if they do ever promote from within, they’ll pull out a big ledger and say “Tisk, tisk, if only you’d shown your face… and eaten a piece of grocery store sheet cake with a huge blue flower made of frosting on it… I’m afraid the new middle manager is going to be Gerald McSniveley. Yes, we know he’s less qualified, but he bought a cake and made sure everyone signed a card when the janitor’s cat died.”

I understand your viewpoint, but it depends on what promotion you are looking for. Unless it is a strictly technical position there is going to be a “plays well with others” component. And even for a strictly technical position, a higher level is going to have that dimension also, even if to a lesser degree.

And you don’t have to take a piece of cake (and if one is foisted on you, you don’t have to eat it).

After all my complaining about my job, after 22+ years of doing the same thing (case management), I’ve applied for a transfer.

It is in the same division, but doing something completely different. Very little client contact. I’d be responsible for coordinating legal actions between our division, the courts, the county attorneys office, and service providers (sheriff’s departments / private companies). No actual caseload. It is not an easy job - everything has to be meticulous for the courts, there will be a steep learning curve as I don’t know the language of paternity or establishment, and I’ve been told the current processes are ripe for streamlining and I would be responsible for it all.

Luckily, the person who is currently in the position is championing me to be her replacement. She is notoriously difficult, yet I have somehow landed on her good side.

I’m both excited and terrified. Obviously, I’m not guaranteed the position. If I don’t get it, I don’t get it. Right now, my team is without a supervisor. I spoke with the manager yesterday, she indicated a fair amount of people applied for the position. I know of a few who applied and they are 100% people I would never be able to work for. I’m still working a mixed caseload and despise it. As I feared, the 1/3 of cases that need the most are falling behind the 2/3 that demand the most.

I hope you get this job! :crossed_fingers:You deserve it! Please let us know if this works out, because it’s always good to get some happy news.

I need something from a coworker who never does anything unless you ask her twice. Her department head sent her an email asking her to do something for me. A week later, and I’ve heard absolutely nothing from her. I hate having to ask her for anything.

Oh, fun! A week is enough time to justify you replying to that email (keep her dept head on it) asking oh-so-politely when she’ll be able to do that task you need. If the dept head has any sense at all, after a few of these he’ll start asking her some really pointed questions and lighting a fire under her butt.