I remember the year we had a series of retirements in our department. One was sudden. Suddenly, D in Development just wasn’t there.
When I asked, they asked if I hadn’t heard the swearing. Apparently, the first two retirements had inspired D to calculate when he could retire with 100% pay. The answer was last year. After the swearing, he turned in his paperwork.
Yay for D in Development!
I had something unexpected like that happen. Financial advisor called me in, said “Digger, you should retire… let’s see… [moves finger along large analog spreadsheet] … now.”
I was floored.
You had someone looking after you! I think if we stay beyond 100%, it just keeps going up. Not that I’ll have to worry about that. I hired in late.
I knew the date when I could receive full pension payments. I retired one month after that. With my saved sick leave factored in, that gave me a few extra months and a slight bump in monthly payments.
Other folks set their dates based on when they are eligible for Social Security - anywhere from the minute they turn 62 all the way to age 70, past which there is no added benefit to waiting.
Much easier when you have a defined benefit pension plan and know the peculiar little rules and formulae that govern it. So in my case I can calculate what my general retirement income and health plan costs will roughly be already depending on when I check out. And those calculations get increasingly precise the closer I get. Not only that, but I also know the months/days it is most advantageous to retire on for various arcane administrative reasons.
So I currently have a few dates in mind, but they are very specific dates.
I know mine because I decided that it will be on my my 100th birthday.
I was wondering how Kayla’s Dad could be in his 30s and still have been Kayla’s dad for seemingly decades already.
One of my coworkers is having a midmorning snack of some tuna salad/casserole thing. His office smells like low tide; I hope it doesn’t drift too far.
165 days… and counting
Nice!
I run some equipment that provides data through a cell phone connection. Verizon in this case. For some reason it won’t work anymore.
The manufacturer says it needs a new sim card.
I talk to our IT manager who talks to Verizon.
Verizon says we don’t do sim cards anymore so it needs a new modem.
Manufacturer says we do this all the time. Needs a new sim card.
IT manager gets hit by a drunk driver and has to spend a couple months in the hospital. (He’ll live but may need to relearn how to walk)
I let it drop for a bit because of this but it’s time to start using the equipment again.
I look up replacement sim cards on the Verizon website. It says here’s the process and tells me to contact our rep. Also looked on Amazon and saw Verizon sim cards 3 for $6.
So I email the IT manager (now at home after several leg/foot surgeries). He contacts our Verizon rep.
Rep says we don’t do sim cards and anyway we cancelled the accounts 3 months ago. Get a new modem.
TLDR: I’m playing the telephone game with a telephone company and losing.
My takeaway: Verizon really, really, wants you to buy a new modem.
…from another vendor.
OK, this is petty, but it’s been driving me up a wall so time to vent here. I work in accounting, and we have a lot of 5-digit account numbers like 50120, 50503, 60110, 40927, and so on. How would you pronounce these?
Everybody but me at my work pronounces them like so:
50120 = fifty one twenty
50503 = fifty five oh three
60110 = sixty one ten
40927 = forty nine twenty seven
What I hear:
fifty one twenty = “fifty-one twenty” = 5,120
fifty five oh three = “fifty-five 03” = 5,503
sixty one ten = “sixty-one ten” = 6,110
forty nine twenty seven = “forty-nine twenty-seven” = 4,927
The more I hear it, the more I begin to wonder if actually I’m the weird one. They see the five-digit number and they parse the first two digits first, then the rest. Maybe the accounting system assigns significance to the first two digits by themselves, such that all accounts starting with 50 are in a category that’s different from accounts starting with 51, and I haven’t seen this pattern yet. Maybe I’ll ask, but since everyone around me is insane, Occam’s suggests they just say account numbers insanely as well.
Unrelated, but they also are obsessed with referring to their own brains:
“My math brain tried to solve this problem…”
“My puzzle brain enjoys this kind of thing…”
“My tired brain can’t work on this anymore today”
“My due diligence brain made me think to check something else”
It’s a serious vocal tic and it also drives me bananas for reasons I can’t quite put my finger on. Stop talking about your goddamn brain, or any other internal organs. Christ.
You all know how much I hate when other people try to tell me how to do my job. It’s one of those days. My job would be so good if I didn’t have to deal with other people.
No no no on the number thing!
five oh one two oh - or - five oh one 20
That would drive me up a wall.
People go bonkers because in any numeric or alphanumeric sequence I always sound them out one character at a time.
Example 125TEMP61750
Is one-two-five-tee-ee-em-pee-six-one-seven-five-zero
Only a lunatic would say “one twenty five temp sixty one seven fifty”
That’s how I say it to myself. Four things (one-twenty-five / TEMP / sixty-five / seven-fifty) is a lot easier to remember than twelve things. But, if I’m giving the number over the phone, I’ll give them one at a time and throw in phonetics to boot.
eg. “one-two-five-tee (like “tango”)-ee (like “echo”)-em (Like “mother”)-pee (like “papa”)-six-one-seven-five-zero”
I’ve yet to have any complaints.
My last name has a V as in Victor, B as in Boy and T as in Tom in it. I don’t always do the T phonetic, but I’d have to concentrate to not give the Victor and Boy at this point.
Sounds about 12 years too late! (Assuming a 20 year career arc.)