This is a bullet point on my resume.
“Interact with Development, QA, Customer Service, Professional Services, Marketing, and various other departments in an aggressive, politically charged, time-sensitive environment.”
I always joke with people who are writing resumes that it’s all in the phrasing. If you wipe your boss’ bum every morning after his coffee kicks in, you can write, “Assisted boss with all essential daily functions.” 
Well, they did it. Two weeks ago I was called into the HR lady’s office and was told that I am now assigned to Demanding Partner - the one I told them I would walk out if they assigned me to. Yeah, that one. I knew he wasn’t happy with his current secretary because (among other things) her grammar sucked, and I knew he liked me (grammar is my superpower).
I did not walk out though I was tempted to those first few days. I just reminded myself that the reason I’m working there is one, the excellent health insurance, and two, my salary means we don’t have to budget and I can spend money on fun things.
Demanding Partner is happier than I’ve seen him in ages. Working for him is a pain, but I have the advantage of knowing him well and not being afraid to use my “bitch voice” on him. He’s actually doing what I tell him to do (well some of the time at least).
There will be a discussion with HR (after the holidays) about a raise, and certain other conditions I’d like met. And my bonus this year better be huge!
But the worst part of this whole thing, is I had to switch desks with his old secretary, and she got my nice, easy to work for attorney as well as my desk. Then I have to listen to her bitch about how much she hates her new desk, i.e. my old desk that I loved! So unfair.
It’s furniture. It can’t be moved?
The micromanagers in the upper offices tend to have shit-fits when employees do shit like that.
I once worked in a brand new building at UC Berkeley. The offices on our floor had several chairs each, upholstered in brightly colored naugahyde. The offices had chairs of various colors – red, blue, orange, yellow – but all the chairs in any one office were all the same colors.
So I and other employees swapped our chairs around, so each of our offices had chairs of several different colors. Shit-fit from micromanagers in upper offices ensued.
This is long, and I apologize in advance, but it needs a little explanation. I’ll try to be concise.
My company is essentially a data warehouse for a very specific, global industry. We have browser-based software that lets customers enter their data into our databases. We in turn, have automated processes that distribute that data to everybody in the industry. We also have a large set of online documentation that explains how to process the data. Since it’s a global industry (read: everybody in competition) the documentation is critical to ensure that everybody’s data is processed the same way for a level playing field on the market.
For unknown management-think reasons, last January we got reorganized from subject matter experts for an entire product end to end (collection and distribution) to most of us working on the collection side of things, and a few of us working on the distribution side of things. (I’m on the small distribution team.) When this reorg happened it sounded to me like the collection people would design solutions/enhancements to our software, I’d listen in on meetings so that I would know how to update the distribution documentation, and then when the proposed solutions were finalized, I would do my changes and run them through our usual documentation reviews and then publish the docs.
The collection people immediately adopted the attitude that all they needed to do was design the UI. In their opinions (many of them have told us this to our faces) it’s up to the distro team to do all the advance legwork on all projects, design and document the solutions, update the distribution documentation, and when we’re done with that, then they’ll write the requirements that tells where on the screen the new fields go and if/how they should be validated.
I am not sure if I’m selfishly peeved because my job turned out to be much bigger than I first though, or if I have a legitimate beef that I’m doing the majority of the work now. The way my boss and I see it, projects should be run as a team, where both the collection and distribution people do the advance legwork and solution design. But so far they just seem to be saying “hey, you own this project, let me know when you’re done so I can do my screens”.
Hey, I guess this job is a lot less toxic than my old job if all I can really complain about is a close-and-non-stop-talker.
I have an office mate who listens for me to approach my office. Honestly, as I get close I can hear her close her laptop, straighten up her papers, push her chair back and Get Ready For Some Serious Chat-Time!
She must think we’re going to be dishing for quite a while so she wants to get everything organized and put away first. Then, as I’m in my doorway but haven’t even approached my desk yet (let alone had time to sit down), she muscles into my office (literally! I haven’t cleared the doorway yet, so it’s tight with her suddenly there too), and asks a pithy question like* “Soooo?”*
And she asks this from a foot away. I started out responding politely, but that was a major time-sucker. Then I found that if I asked her “Sooooo, what?” she’d clarify with “Sooooo, what’s going onnnnn?” But now I often reply “Really busy. No time to chat. 'Scuse me, gotta respond to an emergency right away.”
Her immediate response (that she starts in with before my sentence has finished): “I know what you mean! I have soooo much to do thatIthinkI’mgettinghivesfromthestressormaybeit’sfrommykidsisthatathing?!”
I’ve also started saying “And, remember? I need some personal space here…” as I retreat.
I’m just venting here, because I hit on the perfect solution that deals with the immediate, non-stop chitchat, the annoyance factor, and the space issues.
I just stay away from my office.
Seriously. I’ve been in my office once in the last three weeks. And that was when I’d seen her somewhere else.
I’m getting so much more done! I’m carrying my bike bag with everything I need in it, and if someone’s got an issue, I commandeer a table or desk nearby and get their problem taken care of on the spot.
And so’s not to be too much of a jerk, I’m chatting with my officemate! But doing so when I have time to, when we’re eating lunch or something.
Sooooo, anybody want to rent some space? It’s got a window and a Mac Cube and a Boba Fett Pez dispenser. There’s just one little drawback…
So … they get paid much less, right?
To the members of management at my workplace: you are all fucking idiots. No one respects you. Even the eternal kiss - asses look pained as they begrudgingly prostrate themselves before you. In my field, I’ve known so many grubby little wormy managers. They can’t compare to the trifecta of idiocy you constantly display. The moronic puppet master and her two insipid puppet lackeys: the most unnecessarily top-heavy organization I’ve ever had the displeasure of working under. You always talk about “following the chain of command.” Perhaps we could do that if any of your leadership skills amounted to anything more than a wet fart. The equivalent of listening to your commands would be following the genocidal rantings of an evil dictator. Fuck ya’ll. There’s a special place in hell for the three of you.
By the way, if you fucktards wanna retain employees, you may want to quit screwing with everyone’s paid time off. We need breaks from your Hitler, Goebbels, and Georing asses.
No, not in Sacramento. Am somewhere in the middle of the country. Not north, nor south, not east nor west. Frost on windshields in November isn’t odd, it’s just annoying, especially the first time it happens in awhile, and when one wasn’t expecting it.
I should have been more clear. The desks are identical, the locations, directions they face, and amount of extra real estate (tables and such) are not. I had a lot more space and a more open feel at my old location. She does not like the openness at all.
sick of this woman at my job asking me every damm day what I am having for lunch:mad:
I had a coworker like that 2 years ago, instead of having ear plugs in her ear she played songs out loud all day. Sometimes it was the same song
“You.”
Well, you could start in on a long, overly-colorful rendition of the gourmet entrée you’re planning on nibbling:
“Thank you for asking… no one else ever does, you know. Wellll, today I’m having Viande de Grison, an intriguing-yet-obvious cured wildebeest filet, solar-kiln-dried somewhere in Quebec, laid on a demi-baguette of half-white bread-half-whole grain-spelt toast, but here’s where it gets fascinating, because that’s overlaid with Valbrie aux Poivre, a piquant semi-turgid brie-esque spread from young Provençal cows, rolled in Romany emerald peppercorns. You know the ones, grown by a convent in the Viogniere Valley and hand-cracked by nubile novitiates? Mmm, lovely. The pepper, too. Over that is laid a turf of Arugula, Pink Russian Kale, Curly Endive (as well as the Moe and Larry varietals), Broadleaf Paris Island Romaine and French’s Mustard Greens. All complemented by a squirt of Chef Anatole’s hand-beaten salmon-ejaculate aoli (Have you tasted any of Anatole’s creations? You simply must trot round to Totley Towers, Totley-on-the-Wold, and try his signature Tittering Totem tarts). Now, I’m thinking I should pair this with a pithy-qua-insoucient zin/beaujolais blend from the early twenty-teens. I’m looking for just the right balance between weathered leather aromas and tropical notes of palm leaf and guava, with perhaps just a hint of vintage kindergarten paste. And then… three to five Milk Duds.”
No need for her to know you brought PB&J again.
She probably wouldn’t ask again after I said that. lol
So borrow that description, and you’ll never have to come up with a second one!
We have an Office Talker, but fortunately I don’t share an office with her. She is in the office right next to mine. Lucky me. Meet my Annoying Coworker…when she comes into the office in the morning, she’s not actually in her office for at least an hour. She goes down the hall and plops herself down in another coworkers office, and talks and talks and talks. She doesn’t do it so much with me, probably because I’m not very chatty with her. Because I have work to do. :rolleyes: The coworker she does this to the most is very busy, and I know for sure she doesn’t have the time to sit there and talk, but she’s probably too nice to say anything. Another coworker just told me that she doesn’t like it, which I didn’t know because I thought she liked talking to Annoying Coworker.
We had a weekly project that used to be done late on Friday (we work regular office hours, so we’re done at 5).There was one part that my supervisor had to do, and then I could finish it and send it off. So every week without fail, Annoying Coworker would go plop herself down in my supervisor’s office and yack for an hour, and my supervisor would expect me to stay late ON FRIDAY so I could finish. Oh hell no. I started going in to my supervisor’s office while she was talking to AC and asking her about the bit that needed to be done. She finally did start getting it done in time, but still. Very rude and disrespectful.
I will be back soon, with a tale of the Project From Hell.[URL=“http://boards.straightdope.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/”]
May I steal that, please?
“Is there more copy paper on the way? We ran out on Sunday.”
Yeah, sure, since I’m psychic and shit. Since I told you I’m happy to order your paper but you have to tell me when you’re on the last case. Maybe you shouldn’t wait until the big printer is out of the four reams it holds, to figure out more should be ordered? Or maybe, hey maybe, you could even USE THE STAPLES LOGIN I GAVE YOU and, I dunno, ORDER IT YOURSELF. Like I showed you.
We had one salaried person leave that department, and three waged people replaced her. They can’t get any shit together between them. Inventory. It’s a thing.
Attention, Monday: bite me.
It was bad enough going to work on something like three hours of sleep, with school also on the agenda tonight. I did NOT need to have multiple problems/dramas in a few minutes’ time.
To the various parties:
S, lose the 'tude, bitch. NOW. Refusing instructions from leads because you will only listen to a supervisor is NOT accepted behavior where we work. Oh, and please do find a working gear that involves actual motion.
M, you might want to think about some sort of meds, guy. Really. Riding your mood coaster is rough on the rest of us, too. Yes, we get jerk customers. It’s the nature of retail. The matter got handled, grandboss assured me she’s fine with our side of it, quit agonizing about how boss will feel about it tomorrow (he had the day off today). If grandboss is OK with the situation, boss probably won’t say a word about it, and he’s not someone who will fail to communicate if he thinks we have an issue to work out. Yes, I know losing your phone is a bad thing, but whimpering so hard about it was a pain for all. And please stop slamming your hands between hard objects. You may be a trial to our patience, but none of us really WANT you to be harmed.
Oh, and jerk customer who decided that being part of a group that were ALL being asked to let us park the [bleep] carts before you swarm like hungry piranhas was some horrible act of discrimination against you worthy of huge public tantrum that had other customers complaining to managers about YOU, [bleep] off. We could do without your pushiness, your attitude, your grabbiness (including the time you helped yourself to an item out of another customer’s cart), and your odor. It really wouldn’t kill you to bathe and do laundry more often than once a week (if we’re lucky).