Is there any subject Chick hasn’t covered yet?
And let me say that 20% is all you need as far as accuracy goes, for the true beleivers to think you are a prophet anyway!
How about Art Vandelay?
His4ever, just shut up.
I’m convinced more than ever that H4E is just a troll.
Now, now Guin, that’s not nice.
My earlier post got eaten, but I just wanted to say that I have a coworker named George and get this: he’s Catholic! Apparently, when people say work is hell, they really mean it in my company. 
[sub](For the humor impaired, that was a joke; I was raised Catholic by quite devout parents.)[/sub]
Oh, and Helen is ugly, so she must be evil, too. I’m thinking she tries to get Bob to have hot monkey sex with her but Bob won’t do it. It’s EVIL! Evil I tell you!
Good grief! Where did my 1000th post go? I wasted it, when I meant to use it on this thread!
Got to love the subtle nature of Jack The Chick. Notice Gladys hat… hmmm very witch like near the end you don’t suppose she’s… No… couldn’t be… not evil?
By the way what is with the habbit these people are getting into crashing into Gas trucks (see Real Heat) unless the guy bailing out of that Tract was hiding in the car with Gladys and Holly.
Once again the Unbeliever Knows nothing about Christianity whatsoever (Yeah right like that is real in North American society)
My favorite moment:
“Do You remember Moses, like in the movie “The Ten Comandments”?”
“You mean Charlton Heston?”
“No, he just played the part of Moses…”
Thanks for clearing that up Bob! Gee you mean Heston wasn’t Moses???
I’m wondering the IQ level these tracts are aiming at?
A friend of mine worked in the marketing department for a company that had as a client, among others, a phone-Astrology service. “For Aquarians, press 1. For Pisceans, press 2.” He got a call from a fundie saying that, since they were trafficking in the business of Astrology, he was risking the fire. He called up the client and said, “Hey, now, there was nothing in the original contract about the risk to my immortal soul. We need to re-work this so we get a better cut.”
While it’s tempting knowing that special place in hell is being reserved for Ms. Cleo I’m more concerned about the cost overruns in hell!
Ya know lakes of fire cost a lot to maintain, first there is the fuel cost*, cost of filling the lake with flamable material**, OSHA compliance***, workers comp**** and lets not forget about the semi-annual draining and refillings of the lake of fire*****, nor of the collatoral damage due to shifting weather conditions******.
*primary ignition of said lake
**Dependent on exchange rates and current oil prices
***You try keeping a workplace safe when there is a burning lake of fire near the head offices! And what about the poor people who have to REFILL the lake!
****Nobody seems to like working with 3rd degree burns over 98% of their souls.
*****Hey the airvents that feed oxygen into the lake of fire need cleaning!
******That strong wind from last month totally torched the Catholic housing center. It took WEEKS to clean up all of the burning catholics 
So we have all these expenses, but Hell produces no income… Thankfully God is listed as the owner so we do have legal recourse.
God, expect to hear from our lawyers:
As for people who hear voices… Even if the voices are right you need to get yourself MEDICATED! Same if you believe you met Jesus when he walked out of your closet, or if you think aliens abducted you.
Anyhoo, H4E: If insulting other people, telling them that they are worthless and going to hell makes you happy just like in these Chick tracts, then by all means run with it. Frankly people who believe that and say that say far more about their character than they say about anything else.
Everyone else:
Anyone else find Chicks depictions of god highly amusing?
If H4E is any indication, the bar must be set very low indeed. She is, let’s be honest here, stupid. Dumber than a sack of hammers. Dumber than a mud stump. Really, really, unintelligent, in the same way Billy Barty was really, really short.
But it takes a dim intellect to believe so unquestioningly in Jack Chick’s superstitious blather. H4E never picks up that Chick gets his facts wrong, as in his gross misstatements about the evidence for evolution in “Big Daddy,” or his historical errors in discussing the origins of the faiths of the Mormons, the Jews, and the Muslims.
Hell, he even gets his Bible figures wrong. Biblical prophecy is not fortunetelling, making predictions about the future. The prophets of the Bible acted as God’s spokesmen, condemning the backsliding and iniquities of the people and kings of Israel and Judah. The prime example of this is the prophet Nathan laying the smackdown on King David for setting up Uriah the Hittite to get killed in battle in order to steal his wife. When you read Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Isaiah, Malachi, Habbakuk, Micah, and the rest, you see that God is telling His people to shape up or they will face some wrath. The only times you see an explicit pronouncement about the future is in terms of a warning, “Stop this or you’re gonna get that.” None of the writings of the prophets are meant to be explicit predictions about the Incarnation of Jesus.
In any event, H4E has never presented an argument about why Yahweh is superior to Shiva, or Odin; she just makes Him more threatening. She has never once said that God offers peace or love or healing from one’s pain; her big argument is that if you don’t knuckle under to the Big Guy, you get burned in a lake of fire for all eternity. I mean, who wants to serve a divine version of Tony Soprano?
As far as I can tell, the God H4E serves is one of malice, hate, and fear, and if there is a difference between her religion and Satanism, I fail to see it.
All I’m going to say is, I can’t be afraid of something I don’t believe in. Doesn’t work that way. And since I don’t believe in either hell or the New Testament, and never will, I can’t be afraid of them.
Robin, who is pretty well proselytization-proof.
I’ve never actually seen a real live Chick tract in America. When I lived in the UK, however, my parents used to drag me to a fundie church called Sedge Fen near Ely. I was allowed to read Chick tracts during the service.
I used to read Chick tracts and the more interesting erotic bits of the bible during service. No wonder I’m a backslidden wastrel now.
I’m still waiting for Chick to do a tract about the evils of Porn.
With full illustrations.
hopefully he’ll leave Bob out of that tract.
I’m sorry, I should have been clear-I’m tired of His4ever pulling this crap and then when we call her on her bullshit, she whines and bitches that she’s being “persecuted”. Stop with the fucking martyr complex, would ya?
Are you kidding??? In that tract Bob can finally stop hating himself and come out of the closet. Once he has accepted his tendencies he will become a true christian. He will spread love, fellowship and and joy with the rest of humanity. He will spread the newfound love of himself with the rest of the world.
In the last panels he goes to Chick’s headquarters to pound the crap out of Chick for making him ashamed of himself. Suddenly he lets go of the anger and forgives him.
Chick Gets all pious and Berates Bob telling him how he will burn for ever and has no right to exist (Of course he’ll follow up with “Nothing personal it’s just what the bible tells me”)
Next he gets into his car with His4Ever where he has a heart attack and the car promptly crashes into a gas truck, burstiong into flames. They meet God who tells them how dumb they have been all along and tosses their non repentant asses into the deep end of the Great pool of fire.
I love happy endings.
You know Guin I stopped my sister in law dead in her tracks once by telling her to keep up her good work as a martyr cause we all know what happens to them in the end.
My other sister in law had to leave the room because she broke down in fits of laughter.
Nobody has ever put SIL #1 in her place before and since I am the loud mouth of the family who tells it like it is…
I don’t think she got it right away, and in April she converted to the Catholic religion (which brings up whole other issues because of her beliefs going against most of what the religion teaches) but she doesn’t call or come around much anymore.
And now I find myself on the horns of a theological dilemma… given a choice between the lake of fire, or eternity in the company of Jack Chick and His4Ever, which do I go for?
(Moot point, really. I eat shrimp. I wear polyester/cotton blends. I’m going to hell.)
This must be illustrated and added to Teemings.
Now.
Spoofe?
Gee I forgot to add in the panel where God is giving Jack and His4ever the low down on what they’ve done wrong, you can see Rabbi Waxman in the background Yelling “I’m here Jack! I’m Here!”
That’s only one of many inside jokes this comic must have.
By the way His4Ever if you find me offensive for suggesting you and Chick will burn in hell, please understand that I’m only saying it out of love. It’s what my religion tells me. Nothing personal… I don’t hate the sinner…