New Chick Tract, with a vengangce

[Malacandra]

@Little Nemo

My imaginary Chick tract:

“You’re going to go the Hell. But if you accept Jesus, you’ll be saved and go to Heaven.”
“So God sent Jesus to Earth because he loves us.”
“Absolutely.”
“And God created the Universe and everything in it?”
“Yes, God is the creator of everything.”
“So God created Hell?”
“Excuse me?”
“Well, if God created everything, he must have created Hell, right?”
“I suppose…”
“So this whole thing about us dying and being damned to Hell was God’s idea in the first place?”
“Well, yes…”
“And God is all powerful, isn’t he?”
“Of course.”
“So if God decided one day that he loved us and no longer wanted to send us to Hell, why didn’t he just stop doing it? Why not just close Hell down?”
“You’re confusing the issue here…”
“And the whole crucifixion was kind of pointless.”
“WHAT?”
“Well, God’s all powerful. So he didn’t need to send Jesus here to be crucified in order to change anything.”
“I think we need to get back to the main point…”
“Isn’t the main point that God says he loves everyone but he’s willing to punish anyone who doesn’t love him back the way he wants? Sounds like an unhealthy relationship to me.”
“That’s it. I quit. I’m going to see if that job’s still open at Archie comics.”

That’s good, but why out-Herod Herod by providing both parts of the argument yourself and declaring yourself the winner? Isn’t it bad enough that Chick does that already? Wouldn’t it be more convincing if you had the theological side of the argument advanced by someone a little more coherent? :dubious:

[Homebrew]

@Malacandra

Wouldn’t it be more convincing if you had the theological side of the argument advanced by someone a little more coherent? :dubious:

Care to try it? I’ve yet to hear one any more coherent by a believer in Hell and Judgement Day.

[Freddy_the_Pig]

@Ghanima

Made me think, “They’re gonna LOVE watchin’ my movie up top…just before they send me packing.”

No question, the “this is your life” scenes are always my favorite. Sometimes your life is a drive-in movie, but here it’s a DVD on a free-standing flat-panel TV under a breath-taking starlit sky.

If only my life had content to live up to the setting. The poor angels forced to watch it might feel like they’re in hell. Maybe they can hire Joe Esterzhas to “punch up” my sins.

[kaylasdad99]

Odd, isn’t it, how often the evangelist has to introduce the heathen to the concept of Jesus, but a the heathen already knows about Hell?