The Chaplain is Jack’s latest tract and I think it shows he’s getting back to his roots and has some fire in the belly. It has Heathen arabs, multiple violent deaths and a sniveling little rat bag that I wanted to strangle after three panels.
Ooooh good one! I especially like the angels sitting on clouds, watching earth on the big-screen TV. I guess they have flat panels in heaven!
Also good was the slam on education. God knows, anyone who goes to college can’t get into heaven. And I don’ t even want to think what a subscription to the Straight Dope does.
Ahhhh, good old Jack. I was getting worried there for awhile. I thought he was losing his edge but this has uhhhh, restored my faith in Jack.
The “Hey Chaplain, I got saved” panel was one of the funniest. Or maybe it was “They hit a land mine! There are no survivors.”
And what happened with the grenade? First it looked like he was trying to cover it with his helmet, and then he was on top of it. I didn’t think people could survive long enough to say last words, let alone still be in one piece.
But, why was Captain Picard whipping a Cro-Magnon Jesus?
Well, thank Jay-zus for that dust storm.
'Cause no Taliban fighter ever had to fight a battle in the desert during a dust storm, right? No, only the American military has ever had to contend with both wind and sand.
I hate to break it to this platoon, but I think they were fighting the JV taliban squad.
Guess he’s got in for Cowboy art too.
I’m sure there’s lots of armed forces chaplains that, when you tell them you have been saved, respond with “You sick idiot”. Mmmm, that’s good chaplaning!
I always look forward to the end of Chick tracts, when Jesus kicks ass and the pretenders get their Old Testament just deserts.
As far as those who believe in Jesus being saved and getting a body like his, this can only be a massive improvement for Benny, who already has a double chin, one of the worst noses since Karl Malden, and what has to be the worst hair in the Middle East. Of course, getting a body like Jesus apparently means having no face at all, but it’s still an improvement.
You think Jack Chick got rejected at all the divinity schools to which he applied?
Oh no, dust! And wind! Ayieeee!
Chick’s God is lame. Why, if I were God and my followers prayed to Me, I’d totally, like, make their enemies heads explode or something. None of this namby pamby ‘nautral law’ bullshit. Heads a’ splodin!
Preacher threw his helmet atop the grenade, then himself covered the bundle with his body. Merely covering the grenade with a K-pot is better than nothing but the blast pressure would propel the helmet upwards at high speed and you still would have a dangerous spread of shrapnel. And yes, people can survive long enough for last words after that move, depending on where they took the main blast force.
My fave lines:
Benny: *** “Is this Jesus guy some big deal up in Heaven?” * **
Jesus… is just zis guy, y’know…
Benny: * “Uh… he was a Jew some guys killed on a cross 'cuz he wrote the Bible”*
Preacher: “Um… not quite”
I like that you can almost imagine Preacher and thinking “Whoa baby, this is gonna take longer than I thought…”
Of course, Chick being Chick he gets a few things off-kilter; for instance, that ivory-towerish academic theologian would not have volunteered to join the Chaplain Corps in the first place, being as it is essentially a pastoral role; and “Chaplain’s assistants” are Enlisted Men, they can’t be “sent instead”.
Y’know, it’s gotta be a real PITA for a convert to Chick’s brand of Christianity, finding somewhere to go to church every week, seeng how he seems to so absolutely scorn every form of institutional church or academically-oriented theology
I hear ya’, man! I’ve gotta ask: Didn’t God ever see Raider’s of the Lost Ark? THAT’S how you do divine retribution!
If I were The Almighty, I’d go Spielberg on their ass!
How come Chick’s Army is still using Hueys in Iraq (and why are all his GIs fat)? Do y’think maybe he’s a bit out of touch?
“Where’s your God now, Preacher boy?”
Priceless. T-shirt worthy material if ever there was.
I also like the implication that Preacher wouldn’t have taken the grenade if he thought that Benny was right with God at that point.
Chick’s Jesus seems curiously indifferent toward protocol. Surely “Benny” isn’t the guy’s full name. Wouldn’t “Benjamin” or even “Ben” be a bit more dignified to welcome him into Heaven with, especially if it’s capped off with an “Enter thou?”
When Jesus condemns Chaplain Stevil van Hostle there with the observation, *“You were ashamed of my words and acted “holy” to impress others,” * it’s not clear from the art if he merely adopts a sarcastic tone of voice to emphasize the word “holy,” or uses little accompanying scare-quote hand gestures instead.
Then again, there really don’t seem to be any instances of the Chaplain actually trying to impress others by acting “holy,” as opposed to using his academic credentials as a bludgeon. Perhaps in Chick’s mind they amount to the same thing.
After Benny meets the new chaplain, he laments:
“The Preacher died for me… not that snotty little creep.”
I admit I’m no expert, but isn’t this completely contrary to the Christian ideal of loving one’s enemies? If Benny truly understood the message of Jesus, he’d know that the dead Preacher would’ve sacrificed himself for the “creep” without hesitation.
Besides, in frame 3, is that the Preacher praying and holding an M-16? 
Oops, on further read, “Preacher” was just the nickname for the platoon’s Jesus-hugger. He wasn’t an actual chaplain.
As such, he can tote a rifle like any Christian Soldier, praising the Lord and passing the ammunition.
I’ve met a few army chaplains over the years. They were uniformly (heh) nice soft-spoken guys who would never say a fallen soldier would be “rejected” by Jesus or call a soldier a “sick idiot”. I’d talk with one of them long before either of these clowns.
No, he means that it was Preacher who was willing to die for him, and that the snotty little creep would not have done it.
I dunno; if that’s what Chick meant, he chose a clumsy way to say it. I take it to mean Benny is worthy of saving because his beliefs are in flux while the “creep” isn’t, because his soul is lost to multiculturalism or something.
Anyway, I see the scruffy dog is in frame 30, squaring off with a rat. I’d’ve thought a camel spider would be more fitting.
Someone should email him and ask. 