“Likely to fail” does not necessarily mean boring. High insurance costs or legal liability would cause a show to fail as well. I wouldn’t expect Celebrity Shootouts to last long, for instance.
Celebrity Uno
Joe HIV Negative
Who Wants to Rape Ned Beatty?
Celebrity Oldboy
Moderate Makeover: Home Edition
Anti-Nanny 1-1-9; take a well behaved, well adjusted family and teach them how to be dysfunctional, teach the kids to be screaming hellions…
Who wants to hold some Antimatter?
Cooking With Heavy Metals; (Mercury and suchlike)
along the similar vein as “Celebrity Shootout”…
“Celebrity Knife Fight”
You could have a real hit on your hand there!
Celebrity Robot Fighting
America’s Next Top Dishwasher
Who Wants To Get A Pine Cone Shoved Up Their Ass?
The Rachel Ray Channel. 24 hours of Rachel Ray programming, running the gamut from Rachel Ray cooking shows to Rachel Ray travel shows to Rachel Ray talk shows to Rachel Ray endorsed EVOO commercials.
Kazakhstan Idol
America’s Biggest Loser. Not the weight loss show. Just unloveable losers being jackasses. And the last contestant left wins the undying scorn and contempt of America and will die unloved and alone.
Let Him Who Is Without Sin Cast the First Stone: Every week the tribe votes to stone one member to death.
The Apprentice: Scientology edition. Host: John Travolta.
America’s Next Top American Idol Fan
Pro Celebrity Sumo.
Here are a few that I think are doomed to fail:
**Survivor: Myspace ** Watch our contestants as they battle to become #1 blogger. Watch them fall as they succumb to cyberstalking, creating pages that take 15 minutes to load and writing heartfelt, witty blogs that no-one reads. Hosted by Tila Tequila.
**
Trading Places: Crackhead Challenge ** Watch as this weeks suburban head-of-family trades places with the local crackhead/tweaker/wino/junkie - watch the junkie as they attempt to take care of the kids, hold down the contestant’s job and manage the family finances, while Mr/Ms Whitebread goes out on the mean streets and keeps it real, crackhead style.
and finally
We’ve Got Your Daughter… yes, the Asian white slaving gang has grabbed little Jenny and now Dad has 72 hours to get her back! Watch as Mr Volvo and Golf Pants works his way through the labrynthian criminal underworld, mixing with the scum of humanity, learning their rules and the way they play the game, seeking clues to the whereabouts of his 12 year old angel while all the time contesting dangerous and ethically dubious challenges which may allow him to win the $500,000 he needs to pay the ransom. Go, Dad, Go!
Pimp My Grill: A maverick dentist on the edge who makes his own rules and doesn’t give a flying fuck what those pencil pushers back at the reception desk think. His challenge: To take old worn out classic dental work and transform it into a pimped-out showpiece, all in one 24 hour oral surgery marathon.
This would also work if the “grill” in question was the kind you cook on as well, take a standard Sunbeam propane grill (or the equivalent) and turn it into a [Drag Racing Announcer Voice] Nitro Burning Funny-Grill!!!, Sunday, SUNDAY, SUNDAYYYY!!!, we’ll sell you the whole seat but you’ll just need the EDGE!![DRAV]
America’s Next Top Epistemologist
Watch upstart young philosophers debate about the source of knowledge. See early rounds in which people make fools of themselves misinterpreting Aristotle’s belief theories! Who will be the next Edmund Gettier? Your votes will decide!
America’s Next Top Epidemiologist: A show to cash in on the popularity of the Epistemology show, except with diseases and stuff.
America’s Next Top Episiotomy
Which episiotomy looks the best?
:eek:
And some sequels to the Discovery Channel’s new show Man vs. Wild, produced by your English 101 instructor:
Man vs. Man
Man vs. Society
Man vs. Himself
Supernancy - A mix between Supernanny and Queer Eye.
“OMG, listen child. That notebook is SO last season. Let’s give little Billy and his room a MAKEOVER!! squeal”
Cops: Nome - Follow the 5 Nome Alaska police officers on the beat. Thrills and chills as they give parking tickets to snowmobiles and help Larry the Drunk home.
Project Amway - Who can sell the most soap?
Cat Swap - Two families trade their cats.
Ow! My Balls!
Ok, that one might actually do well.
Celebrity Jungle Gym: See who will get the swings! See who will be relegated to the sandbox! See if they can share the teeter-totter (especially good for couples and band members)
Change the names and you’ve just described Real World: Las Vegas.
Celebrity Cocksuckers: I don’t think I need to explain this one.