Spanking the monkey at 847 miles per hour won’t necessarily gain you weebl’s admiration.
If you want to ride the sled, you must climb the hills.
Beware spam bearing attachments.
If ignorance is bliss, why isn’t the world happier?
A deleted file can still be read with the right tools.
Beware the smiling cat. Chances are he just horked a hairball in your favorite shoes.
Remark the cat who hesitates towards you in the light of the door which opens on him like a grin.
Ok…so I didn’t write that one. T.S. Eliot did. 
CartoonSu
There’s no I in team,but there’s a U in doofus.
Never dance in hiking boots.
(Learned through painful experience at an Esperanto danceclub in Helsinki…)
It’s never too early to give up.
Beware of geeks bearing .gifs.
Fortune cookie-style: A rented National Lampoon movie will bring you sorrow.