Anti-shark cage. You go inside the cage? Cage goes in the water, you go in the water. Shark’s in the water. Our shark. Farewell and adieu to you, fair Spanish ladies. Farewell and adieu, you ladies of Spain. For we’ve received orders for to sail back to Boston. And so nevermore shall we see you again.
The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain.
I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe… Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion… I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain… Time to die.
Since I joined these men, I’ve seen shit that’ll turn you white.
It’s a crude statement of a beautiful truth. Later on I hope to go into more graceful detail.
Forgive me, Majesty. I am a vulgar man! But I assure you, my music is not.
Oh come on. Oh, there he goes off to his room to write that hit song “Alone in my principles.”
This is the part you’ve got to do on your own. These… need music.
He’s a music man and he sells clarinets to the kids in the town with
The big trombones and the rat-a-tat drums,
Big brass bass, big brass bass, and the piccolo,
The piccolo with uniforms, too with a shiny gold braid
On the coat and a big red stripe runnin . . .
Well, I don’t know much about bands
But I do know you can’t make a living selling big trombones, no sir.
Mandolin picks, perhaps and here and there a Jew’s harp …
No, the fellow sells bands, Boys bands.
I don’t know how he does it but he lives like a king and he dallies
And he gathers and he plucks and shines and when the man dances,
Certainly boys, what else?
The piper pays him! Yes sir.
Oh, and this one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy.
Bus for the Camp Mohawk basketball game leaving in 15 minutes.
Attention campers, afternoon swim schedule is as follows. Advanced dolphins, report to the dock for survival swimming and I.Q. testing. All senior silverfish, meet on the beach for nude sunbathing. All junior salmon, trout, and herring, report to the nearest delicatessen. And six-year-old tadpoles, report to the swamp. And all lobsters, GET OUT OF HERE! YOU’RE A MENACE!
Attention. Captain Banning – er, Captain Bandini…
(exhales)
Attention. Captain Bandini is now performing a femoral po… a popli… a p… – a femoral P-O-P-L-I-T-E-R-A-L artery exp… exp… exploration – and possible graft.
-“BB”-
And we have the machine that goes “Ping!”
Either he’s dead or my watch has stopped.
The incompetence in this hospital is absolutely radiant… I mean, where do you train your nurses, Mrs. Christie, Dachau!?
“Games”? You must be joking. I’ve seen better organized riots.
Oh, you mean organezized. Like those little signs they have in offices that says, “Thimk”?
Hey, I just got some bad news. It’s a telex from the head office in New York. They received our request, but due to a new computer system download and overhaul at their office… they won’t be able to send us the invoices from Ajax Warehouse for another month - four to six weeks.
Guess you’re really up shit creek then.