:I suppose having nineteen kids is carrying it a bit too far - but if we had it to do over, who would we skip? You?
Are you sure we’re going to fit in here, dad?
Oh my God, I’m getting pulled over. Everyone, just… pretend to be normal.
“Don’t panic, Ron. We’ll find a way, okay?”
“I’m not panicked. Who’s panicked? NO ONE’S PANICKED!”
“Well, I’m not scared.”
“You will be when it eats your insides!”
Run Jenny, run… I’m coming to cut your f***ing heart out.
This looks like a job for… Superman!
[looks at himself in the mirror after putting on Superman costume for the first time] I look like a damned fool!
And if you look in the mirror… and you say his name five times… he’ll appear behind you, breathing down your neck.
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice… Beetlejuice!
All the songs I’ve sung tonight were really written and performed by four men called John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr. The Beatles. They were the real geniuses.
What you’re doing is the most original and vigorous art in the country.
Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
Now, I don’t know nothing about music. But I could see in that girl’s eyes, he was a taste of forbidden fruit. She could have eaten him alive!**
You know, the trouble with women is they ask too many questions. They should spend all their time just being beautiful.
Oh, a wed wose. How ordinawy.
Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Man, this would be so much easier if I wasn’t COLOR-BLIND!
🎜When I’m changing colors, I’m never sad
I can even change into PLAID!🎜
The Ku Klux Klan, who saw Zelig as a Jew, that could turn himself into a Negro and a Chinaman, saw him as a triple threat.
If I’d known this was a Klan meeting, I wouldn’t have taken this motherf#ckin’ gig.