You know, Jerry, I’m going to tell you something. Friendship is a two-way street. Do you know that? And you couldn’t care less about me.
Old man, you give those dogs another piece of my food and I’m gonna kick you 'til you’re dead!
I can’t imagine eating a dog and not thinking anything of it.
There’s no dog in this. Hydrolyzed vegetable protein, soybean meal, niacin, dextrose, and sodium nitrate flavoring.
If you close your eyes, it almost feels like you’re eating runny eggs.
You wink, you think, you do a double blink. You close your eyes and…jump.
Knight jumps queen! Bishop jumps queen! Pawns jump queen! Gangbang!
England will not fall while I am Queen.
London Has Fallen
I hope she shows you some respect this time. It’s quite a debt of gratitude, she owes you. Mr. Saviour of the Monarchy!
You have such perseverance, Bertie. You’re the bravest man I know. You’ll make a bloody good king.
Off with his head!
He was driving in the Yukon, in a pink convertible, when a tractor-trailer comes along and decapitates him. You know what that means, it means he doesn’t have a head. How am I supposed to write for a guy who doesn’t have a head?
:Uh uh. I know what you’re thinking. “Did he fire six shots or only five?” Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and would blow your head clean off, you’ve gotta ask yourself one question: “Do I feel lucky?” Well, do ya, punk?
I shot Marvin in the face!
I came 4,000 miles to get a story. I get shot at like a duck in a shooting gallery, I get pushed off buildings, I get the story, and then I’ve got to shut up!
Sherman Duffy of the New York Herald once said, “A newspaperman is the loneliest guy on earth. Socially he ranks somewhere between a hooker and a bartender. Spiritually he stands with Galileo, because he knows the world is round.”
Not that it matters much, when his editor knows its flat.
Stop the presses!
Now, Pete, how about a favor that a certain party is asking? Once and for all, will you hang this person at 5 AM instead of 7? It can’t hurt you and we can make the City Edition.
Only a friend, Peter Parker?