I used to think a wedding was a simple affair. Boy and girl meet, they fall in love, he buys a ring, she buys a dress, they say I do. I was wrong. That’s getting married. A wedding is an entirely different proposition. I know. I’ve just been through one. Not my own, my daughter’s.
There are three things that every Greek woman must do in life: marry Greek boys, make Greek babies, and feed everyone.
[narrating] It was a typical wedding: enemies of the bride on the right, enemies of the groom on the left.
On your mark, get set, go!
Begin, commence, start moving… Theoretically you have been racing for about forty seconds now, and so far Mr. Schaffer is winning because he’s nearest to the door.
I wanna go fast!
You're no racehorse! You're lunch for a lion and that's about it.
I’m so hungry I could eat the ass end out of a dead rhino, I should have had you get me three of these things!
You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
I’m not one of you anemic creatures who can get nourishment from a lettuce leaf. I have zest and appetite - and I like food!
It is said that the Dragon Warrior can survive for months at a time on nothing but the dew of a single ginko leaf and the energy of the universe.
Lembas bread. One small bite is enough to fill the stomach of a grown man.
is impossible not to love someone who makes toast for you.
Do you know why this is called a toast?
Ignorance is bliss.
You teach yourselves the law, but I train your minds. You come in here with a skull full of mush; you leave thinking like a lawyer.
My parents argue too, it doesn’t make them good lawyers.
I object to this witness being called at this time. We’ve been given no prior notice he’d testify. No discovery of any tests he’s conducted or reports he’s prepared. And as the court is aware, the defense is entitled to advance notice of any witness who will testify, particularly to those who will give scientific evidence, so that we can properly prepare for cross-examination, as well as to give the defense an opportunity to have the witness’s reports reviewed by a defense expert, who might then be in a position to contradict the veracity of his conclusions.
You push me into court five days early, I lose my star witness, and I can’t get a continuance. And I don’t care. I’m goin’ up there, I’m gonna try it, I’m gonna let the jury decide.
You can’t handle the truth!