What songs would they be writing for today’s kids if they re-opened Schoolhouse Rock? Here are some ideas I’ve had:
New Songs
“Five Is a Magic Number,” a song about electing the president and how the Electoral College and you and me and grandma and Chubby Checker don’t really matter when it comes right down to it.
“Achtung, Baby!,” a song introducing kids to speaking German (including a refrain from “Pronouns,” reminding you that saying all those nouns over and over can really wear you down).
Remakes/Remixes
“My Hero, Zero,” the original song set to a hip-hop beat with samples of The Power Station’s “Go to Zero” and The Fixx’s “Saved by Zero.”
“I Got Six,” an uplifting song about how size doesn’t matter.
“$7.50 Once a Week,” a song about the welfare system.
“Brandy,” the old Looking Glass song rewritten to explain campaign finance reform. (The sailor said “Brandy, McCain-Feingold / Is a chance to clean it up / But think that it will be hard to enforce”)
How about that Simpsons one? Amendment to Be or whatever the name is?
“I’m an amendment to be, an amendment to be, and I hope that they ratify me/There’s a lot of flag-burners with way too much freedom, and I want to make it legal for policemen to beat them”
Considering the state of eductaion these days…
American History Rocks: “How we won the war on our own,” World War II was a war between the Axis and America! (Hey the ignored the Loyalists in their other History Rocks, and made all the colonists look like the rebel scum 
)
For Science Rock, “Survival of the Fittest” about the war between Creationists and Evolution in class.
For Numbers rock “A 3 piece of Pi” How life can be more perfect with Pi being equal to 3
Grammar Rock “If I axe youse a question it ain’t a crime”
'nuff said
conjunction muffuggin junction, you muffuggin ho, I pop you in yo cap, beeitch.
That’s how we livin in the '02, son
MadTV has been doing spoofs of these recently. The one they did on “Interjection” was hysterical. I don’t remember exactly how it went, but it was basically a slam on the public school system.
It featured students complaining about drunken teachers, graffiti riddled schools, and outdated textbooks.
“Bush versus Gore, Bush versus Gore
A Supreme Court ruling like none ever before!
All voters are equal, unless they are black,
Just send all those partially-punched ballots back, Jack!
They were counted before, now we know the score.
Let’s show George Junior to the White House door!
Who says Palm Beach Jews can’t freely choose
To vote for Buchanan, in spite of his views?
Forget margin of error, it can’t be any fairer.
The counties will just make a mess of it,
But remember, this doesn’t set precedent!
Oh, Bush versus Gore, Bush versus Gore
It’ll be just as fun in 2004!”