The list of things that could have happened to you as a result of that habit, leaving you now blissfully unaware that you’re experiencing any number of them, is astonishingly long.
Trump worked with Ron Desantis to understate the shark attack numbers.
I thought everybody knew that?
It’s sad that I can’t tell whether or not you are joking.
a) Oh, I definitely am
b) That appendage … that Trump drew on the weather map as Hurricane Dorian bore down on the SE United States? It looked remarkably like a fin.
I’m just sayin’…
[segue]
I also remember an editor at The Onion – after one of Trump’s innumerable shockers – tweeting that “we quit.” They couldn’t satirize or parody and possibly measure up to the truth of TFG.
I think Trump is out there hunting the sharks himself. Little known to us dumb liberals, Trump is actually a Crocodile Dundee type figure in disguise. When he was in the White House, at the end of each day, he would take off the fat suit mask and don his leather jacket and grab his 12-in Bowie knife. All that ridiculous unnecessary tweeting he would do was actually somebody else covering for him. Probably an Alfred Pennyworth type.
The reason there’s more shark attacks this year is because he’s had to waste his time with all of these damn indictments and trials. See, Biden really does want people to be killed by shark attacks. Q.E.D.
I’d heard rumors of that Donald Trump.
And seen pictures:
I wanna puke.
Now, that could bring the sharks!
If that’s one of those NFT trading cards that someone paid for and owns, you are not only violating copyright, my friend, but committing heresy! It is forbidden to view such a sacred image without paying the appropriate cash tribute!
It’s a shame about the bone spurs. Otherwise, that Trump coulda been a contender.
Ah yes, the famous Shiitake Balboa.
No hits below the belt or you’ll bust the mushroom.
I think you mean, Not have sex with him.
You say ‘prerogative’, I say ‘purgative’… lets vote the slimy Bronzer out…
Donald Trump: Proof that you can polish a turd.
But you shouldn’t let it dress itself.
True. But at the end of the day it’s still going to stink.
No. Maybe proof that you can spray a turd, or paint a turd.
Being semi-serious for a moment, it’s a silver-plated turd. Because what people stare at and admire are their own loathsome, worst, most bigoted traits that are reflected back at them. To their endless envy that he can be so open about it and get away with it.
I guess you could use a bronze or gold mirrored surface, but it’s the silver that highlights the reflection the most.
Carry on. 
That’s deep.
That’s some deep poop.
Anyone got any Pooph handy?
I smell sumtin’…